Worst Jokes Ever
Your mamma's so stinky that perfume leaks where she puts it on.
What’s impossible?
Steven Walkings.
Is your MBTI type INFP? Cause you're so FiNe.
Abortion isn't murder, it's more like backspacing a typo.
Q. What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?
Abortion clinics don't do deliveries.
If you think Tracy Latimer's murder was in any way justified, put on your helmet 'cause you're about to miss the short bus.
Q: Why aren't emo jokes funny?
A: They always seem to cut a little too close.
Q: What's a conspiracy theorist's favorite letter? A: Q.
It's a little known fact that Helen Keller was against teaching deaf people sign language and thought they should be forced to use oral language.
Weird.
Last time I forced somebody into oral, I got arrested.
My cousin is a surgeon.
Last year he botched a surgery he was doing on a patient who happened to be gay. He's being sued for malpractice for turning a fruit into a vegetable.
Q. Why couldn't Terri Schiavo give good blow jobs?
A. She didn't know how to swallow.
Q. What's an aborted baby's favourite type of humor? A. ...
I'd tell a child abuse joke, but I forget the punchline.
Q. What do you call a rich person who is in a vegetative state?
A. A loaded potato.
If you're ever in need of a punching bag, just go to your local Alzheimer's unit.
They'll forget you were there in like three minutes.
Political correctness has gone too far! You have to say "cognitive decline" rather than "Alzheimer's ridden shitbag"!
Today I was asked if I was in favor of legalizing prostitution.
I admit I haven't given it much of a thot.
I was going to tell a ghost joke, but it just seemed so mean-spirited.
I took my pony to the vet because I thought he was making a funny noise when he neighed. The vet said everything was okay and he was just a little horse.
What's the most embarrassing thing about locking your keys in the car outside a pregnancy care center?
Having to go inside and ask for a coat hanger.