Worst Jokes Ever
Little Johnny was getting beaten up by two kids, so I came and helped.
He won’t stand against the three of us!
In 2013, it was reported that China has lost around 28,000 rivers; over half of what they thought existed. Some say climate change is the cause, others say it’s their harsh, economic expansion that’s unapologetic to the environment.
My theory is that those 28,000 rivers were sold to underground river-sex trafficking.
Which country is next to the USA? USB.
Why do orphans go to church?
To call someone "dad."
What's the difference between a suicide bomber and puberty?
Puberty waits for the blow up.
If you say the word "gullible" slowly, it will sound like you're saying "orange."
There was an Indian riding in the desert when he saw a little blond-haired white girl up ahead. He heard her crying. So he went up to her and climbed down from his horse and asked her, "Hey, what’s going on? Why are you crying? Where are your parents? What happened?"
The girl said in a crying, sad voice, "The bandidos came, killed my father, my brothers, then my mother, and raped my sister."
The Indian just laughed, untied and dropped his breechcloth, then said, “Guess this isn’t your day, is it?”
A pirate walks into a bar with a wheel hanging down his pants.
A guy walks by and says, "Pardon me sir, but you've got a wheel hanging down your pants." The pirate responds, "I know. It's driving me nuts!"
What is black and white and red all over? An exploding zebra!
What does a woman do when she leaves the battered women's shelter?
"Cook my dinner, if she knows what's good for her."
In America, 1 in 10 houses has a paedophile.
Not me, I live next to a smoking hot 8-year-old.
My last relationship ended because my ex-girlfriend accused me of being a rapist. I'm not upset. To be honest, I didn't like her anyway. She kept telling me I never listen, or something like that.
I know this isn't the real chicken wing song, but my version...
"Chicken wing, chicken wing, I want your mommy. Slap her with my hairy salami while she's still yawning."
Make your own chicken wing song and put it in the comments... :)
What did one cow say to the other? You are mootiful!
Q: What do the St. Louis Rams and Billy Graham have in common?
A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell, “Jesus Christ.”
What has four legs and one arm?
A rottweiler at a park.
Why is the USA bad at chess?
Because they lost two towers.
Today at the bank, an old lady asked me to help her check her balance.
So I pushed her over.
Helicopter, helicopter, Kobe Bryant in my chopper, Sitting next to burning daughter, Lots of smoke and little laughter.
When a woman removes polish with chemicals, no one bats an eye.
But when Hitler removes the Polish with chemicals, everyone loses it...