Worst Jokes Ever

I had a friend named Wemiyoe... We call him "we me you."

Hey! Some idiot drew a cat on this pillar! Wait... does that make it a caterpillar?

Mortar is like a woman's fanny; the more you play with it, the wetter it gets.

My tutor just said this quote of 2k18^^^

Pontypool is rough.

A man was reported stealing a bar of soap from a corner store. The police concluded that he made a clean getaway.

What happens when two walls meet?

They are cornered.

I was in my car listening to my radio. Steve Winwood's song came on, "Just Roll With It, Baby." I said that must be one of Stephen Hawking's favorite songs; he sings it to his girlfriend.

Why did the vampire go to the doctor?

Because of his coffin.

Why is 69 annoying me? Oh, it's a tease.

This site.

I don't know why everyone cares so much about 3D printers. I've had a Canon printer for years.

I like tacos more than you like tacos.

Who likes more tacos?

Mee! said the taco.

Kids are cute, not even joking. Wanking is easy around them.

How's George Floyd doing these days? Being drug-free for a year, he must be feeling pretty swell.

Why did the rapper go to space?

To drop some ASTRONOMICAL bars!

One time, I worked at 3 jobs at the same time and my boss said it was illegal.

It got too out of hand and I got spanked.

Abortion isn't murder, it's more like backspacing a typo.

Q. What's the difference between an abortion clinic and Uber Eats?

Abortion clinics don't do deliveries.

I tried to get into an emo bar, but I didn't make the cut.

Q: What do a prostitute and a vacuum have in common?

A: If they stop sucking, you can smack them until they start again.

Q. What's an emo's favorite type of comedy?

A. Gallows humor.