Worst Jokes Ever
Comment if I'm ugly.
Did you hear about the guy that dipped his balls in glitter?
Pretty nuts, huh?
Chris said to me in P.E. that he likes Jacob, and he said he wants to go straight to the bedroom.
Why is the fanny flat? Because so it can flop about.
What do you call a chomo on the road? Roadkill.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.
Why did Joe get hit by a bus? Sally was driving it.
Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere!
Why can't orphans play baseball?
Because they have no home to run to.
"Nihha scarborough face."
What goes in hard and dry but comes out soft and wet?
Gum.
Mickey: I want a divorce!
Minney: Are you fricking crazy?
Mickey: No, I'm fricking Daisy!
Do you know Ligma?
Have fun rubbing those balls in your tomatoes!
Never talk about 9/11 to me. I lost my dad in it.
He was a great pilot ;(
Why are Americans so bad at chess?
They already lost two towers.
You: You are such a flick pain.
Me: You are flick pain to my sight.
Did you know that Princess Diana had dandruff?
They found her Head and Shoulders on the car dashboard.
He had the curse of vanishing.
OnlyFans, but it’s me smacking your baby daddies with Twisted Tea.
Only Cans.
Me: And this is the room I cry in.
Date: You've said that about every room.
Me: Correct!
Therapy - Expensive - Years of hard work - Emotionally draining - Tough to find
Screaming in the woods - Free - Immediate relief - Scares hunters enough to leave, therefore saving innocent animals - Potential to make friends with people who are also screaming in the woods.
After standing in line staring at McDonald's menu for 17 minutes,
Me: "Okay, I'm ready. Can you help me not be sad all the time?"