Worst Jokes Ever

Back in ancient Greece, there was a Greek Skyrim, but instead of FUS ROH DAH, the main character said, "Me damnit, Ganymede, get the #10 lightning bolt, I hate it when Helios lets his kids drive!"

If you don't get this, look up the story of Phaethon, and if you STILL don't get it, then you are dumb.

How Stephen Hawking died: he drove too far away from the wall and the cord got unplugged.

My friend made a joke about dogs. I said it was a RUFF joke.

He died because he rolled too far away from the wall outlet and got unplugged.

"I was lost in the woods yesterday."

"I was in some sticky situation..."

What fish sings?

A tuna.

Your dad is your mom.

Ya mum!

When your friend gets involved with someone, it affects the friendship. Whenever a friend of mine has a new girlfriend, we should say I looked like the person you used to know, but I've been modified to survive in this relationship. If we have an argument and she's there, I might disagree with you; I'd rather continue to see her naked.

Your mom is gay, just like your dad.

What did the cat say when he was stuck on a thorn-bush?

"Meow!"

Two whales went to a bar.

The first whale said, "oooooooohhhhhh." The second whale said, "Greg, I think you're drunk, let's go home."

What do windows have in common with my wife's legs? They're easy to open.

Poopy, farty, pee.

What did the marshmallow say when he was roasting in the fire? "Is it hot in here, or is it just me?"

How old is a blue plane?

Blue.

Capitalism.

Your mom shat you out after having Taco Bell. That’s why she calls you a little shat.

What did Santa use as a candy cane?

Wait, wait, I said it wrong.

Okay.

What did Santa use to do his garden...never mind.

What do you call a gay grenade?

A fragette.