Worst Jokes Ever

What do you call sex?

Making cake.

Why is 6 scared of 7?

Because 7 8 9.

I call my girlfriend .05 because she's a bag I blow into when I've had a few drinks.

Look at your left hand, now look at your right hand, and tell yourself, "Which hand do you cheat with?"

Wanking.

"Nahtzee"

Why did Stephen Hawking die?

He lost WiFi connection.

What do you say to toast with bad shoes?

"Butter those."

A police officer said to a belly button, "You're under a-vest."

Is your fridge running?

Why yes, it is!

Then you better go catch it!

Ehhhhhhhh.

What's the first thing that a battered woman does when she gets out of the shelter?

My last if she knows what's good for her.

Yo mama stops at the PokeStop... to buy a Big Mac.

Stephen Hawking forgot the WiFi password.

What's the difference between leafmen and leafwomen? Palm trees.

So my brother said we should start a band, and I said I already had a band. So I gave him my band and he said he was talking about music, and I said, "Well, I do have a trum-bone ;)"

What do you get when you cross a cat and a dinosaur? A cat-astrophe!

So my mom said, "Did you do your homework?" Well, I say yes, and in the hour, I yelled, "This is fake, not real!" 😅😅😅

Me: Are you an orphan?

Orphan: Yes, how did you know and what gave me away?

Me: Where's your parents?

Orphan: They died and I have a phone, why?

Me: Because it has a home button.

There was a doctor's room filled with 20 women, 4 kids, 15 men, and 1 dog. However, there were forty foreheads. How is this possible?

(They will think 44 heads, not 40 foreheads.)

Because there are 40 foreheads, not 44 heads.

How did the guy greet his wife?

"Howdy, sister!"