Worst Jokes Ever
Why did the priest go to the clothing sale at Walmart?
He heard that little boy's pants were half off.
Friends, who's your barber? They mess up big time.
Me.
You're just jealous because my dad cuts my hair for free, and you have to be paying 30 dollars just for that short-ass cut.
Uma Thurman in "Pulp Fiction" was very kind and possibly the sweetest character, unless you count her forehead as of now.
I hate the 9/11 jokes; my dad and grandpa were killed.
My dad was one hell of a pilot.
Grandpa was a hell of a planner.
Friend: Did Jesus die a virgin?
Me: Of course not, he got nailed before he died.
Dam, sometimes when I look at my friend's head, I say, "Dam, that's a dam big head, Nick." Then he is like, "Dude, that's a literal dam."
The fish swam in litter and oh, dam!
Does it make me gay if I kiss your dad and he decides to drill my ass?
Roses are red, violets are blue, Bill Cosby will pudding rape you.
I once put the Bible in the fiction section.
What do you call a flat-chested emo?
A cutting board.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
I did ap.
I did ap who? (I did a poo)
EEWW you did a poo???
My dad died in the attacks. He was the best pilot for Pakistan.
Why does Little Johnny hate hot dogs?
It reminds him of last night.
I really wanna hit you right now, but that would be animal abuse.
Why is a ball rolling when you put it on a hill?
Because it is circle.
What has 15 arms, 9 legs, 8 heads, and 12 eyeballs?
A mosque after a missile strike.
How did Jenson lose against a Cheetah?
Because he was a cheetah!
Kid: Dad, what's a dark joke?
Dad: Well, you see that guy over there? Tell him to wave.
Kid: But Dad, I'm blind.
Dad: Exactly, also the dude had no arm.
Me being raped is like my birth certificate; it doesn't expire.