Worst Jokes Ever
If Stephen Hawking is ill, does he go to the doctors or Currys PC World?
Why did the mermaid want to go to the evil monster so it could get a real joke? Ha, ah, ah, ha!
A man walks into a bar and sees a piece of steak on the ceiling.
The cashier says, "If you can grab it, your meal's free!"
The man then said, "Nah, the stakes are too high."
Q: What's red and screams?
A: A peeled baby in a bag of salt.
What do you call two bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
Why were parts of the Soviet Union that had more industry than agriculture occupied during WW2?
They couldn't beet the Nazis.
Why didn't the bitch ass skeleton fly?
'Cause me mum flew all the way and Trevor is a boofahead.
A french fry was talking to a potato, but the potato didn't understand what he was saying.
It was because he didn't speak French.
What do you sing on a dead person's birthday?
"Happy Death-Day To You!"
Superman has been called to a huge house fire.
Superman: "There you are ma'am, everyone out and all safe!"
Mother: "But my children are still inside! You need to go back an--"
Superman: "Ah fuck'em..."
You guys are idiots!
Q: Why did the vegetable cross the road?
A: 'Cause someone let go of the handle bars.
A friend of mine chews gum, lays back to yawn, then chokes on the gum. Then I said, "God, what, you choking on dick?"
5+2 = 7
But 4+3 also = 7
So take your own path.
How did Steven Hawking die? His WiFi disconnected.
Why is sex with pandas so much fun?
I don't know, it just is. 🐼
John: What's 9+10?
Jake: 21
There were 20 people in a box. There was not mushroom.
When they spilled coffee on his neck, he got hot under the collar.
Stephen Hawking is as broke as his legs.