Worst Jokes Ever

What did Allan say to William, his sister, when he stepped on his toe? "OWWW Mitosis."

I asked a Chinese girl her number, she said "Sex, sex, sex, free sex tonight." I said, "Wow!"

Her friend corrected her by saying, "She means: 666-3629."

There once was a commie called Ed. Usually known as Ned. He went to bed, Got shot in the head, Unfortunately now he was dead.

I asked a Chinese girl for her number. She said, "Sex, sex, sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-3629."

Have you heard about the movie about constipation?

Me neither, it hasn't come out yet.

I saw some toilet paper rolls rolling in the wind.

So I called, "Toilet Papers Rolling In!"

I hate it when I accidentally eat out my dog, lol.

What does your mother look like after I had sex with her eight times? An octopus.

Chuck Norris told those three men how to climb Trump's wall.

I told my doctor I was experiencing some back pain. He told me to smoke some weed because I had chronic back pain.

All germs are from GERMany.

Julius Caesar is Roman? More like romaine (salad), and to make the best salad, you stab it 23 times until the Caesar salad, romaine salad, is fresh.

Two old Indian ladies out picking potatoes, one lady stops, staring at this huge potato, turning it round and round.

The other old lady says to her, "What are you doing?" She says, "These potatoes remind me of my husband's nuts."

She says, "Oh my, are they really that big?" She said, "No, they're that dirty. lololol"

A Mexican opens a pharmacy in CA. What’s he selling?

Drugs.

How do you know if a comedian is high?

Comedian: Why did the wings cross the road? To get to chicken.

What do you call a gay cow? A gay cow.

Imagine the only way you can get laid is if you force it. 😂 Loser!

What do you call a best friend that smokes weed?

A pothead. Just because he's your friend, you don't have to support his poor decisions. Jeez, what has America come to?

Caesar went to the future only to see how the Romans forgot Julius Caesar but only made a salad... I think it would have been better if Caesar stayed dead.

How Jupiter was discovered.

Once there was a fat lady who farted yellow, orange, and peach. All that fart went to space and created a planet that NASA saw and went over there, but it smelled really bad.