Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer?
The hooker can wash out her crack and reuse it.
They said I couldn't drive.
Now they know I can't cause they are all dead.
Son: I heard mom got stung by a few bees this morning. Is she ok? Hospital?
Dad: She's ok now, no hospital.
Dad: She had to take the deep penis.
Son: Umm...... WHAT!?
Dad: I had to inject her with and EPIC PENIS.
Dad: Oh, for God's sakes.
Dad: Epi Pen.
If the dyslexic man wanted to adopt a kid, then how could he sign the papers?
My new stepfather told me that I'm his new son, so I said okay.
My stepfather said that my and your mom have a few things in common. I said, "Yeah, like what?" My stepfather said, "Well, you came out of your mother's pussy; I eat your mother's pussy. You used to suck on your mother's tits; now I suck on your mother's tits. Your mother used to smack you in the ass when you act up; now I smack your mom in the ass now. Your mother calls me daddy; now I am your new daddy."
"Penis equals power, pussy equals wussy."
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Stranger.
Stranger who?
Stranger, why are you in my house masticating my apparent dead wife?
How many tickles does it take for an octopus to laugh?
"Ayo, Lynx, where you at?"
What shoes does a pedophile wear?
White vans.
Q: What do you call a man in a wheelchair?
A: Disabled.
How many dead strippers does it take to change a light?
At least 13 because my basement is still dark.
What kind of mountain does everyone like?
Mountain Dew!!! Hahah.
Q: Why did the baby cross the road? A: It was stapled to the chicken.
Q: Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead.
Q: Why did the baby fall out of the tree? A: Because it was stapled to the koala.
Q: Why did the tree fall over? A: The koala never let go.
Q: Why did the kangaroo die? A: Because the koala landed on it.
What do you call a guy named Ben?
Answer: Ben
Why does Adam sleep early so his mum and stepdad can fuck on his bed?
Why can't Helen Keller drive?
'Cause she's already dead.
Why did the octopus cry?
Because his mum said he looked like Johnny Depp.
One day, a snail got robbed by two turtles.
The cops arrived and arrested the woman for killing her cheating husband, and the son was sent to child services. (Moral - no one cares about the frkn snail and turtles!)
I like my girls like my file systems...
FAT and 16.