Worst Jokes Ever
Me: Mom, I think I need to go to the hospital.
Mom: OMG, why son?
Me: I don't know what's wrong, but every time I close my eyes, I can see.
Think about it, then spread LMAO.
What is the skeleton's favorite car?
A Zam-bone-y.
What do you call Nicholas and Dillon/Dennis?
GAY
What do you call a person with only one arm?
Half-assed.
Where do leg amputees go to buy a car?
IHOP
Yo mama's like a fridge, she breaks down when she loses her cool.
I find bananas very appeeling.
Hey, cobalt can't. But tin can ;)
Why is 5 afraid of 7? Because 6, 7, 8.
What is Ba + 2Na?
Ans. Banana.
What did the grape say when he got squished? Nothing, he just let out a little wine.
Did you hear about the guy who made knock-knock jokes? He won the Nobel Prize.
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were out on a hike. They had been going all day, so they decided to make camp and stay for the night. They both woke up at 3 A.M.
Holmes said, "Look up, Watson, what can you see?"
"Judging from the position of the stars, it looks like it's about 3 A.M."
"What else, Watson?"
"It looks like it will be a beautiful day tomorrow."
"What Else, Watson?"
"What am I supposed to see, Holmes?"
"Elementary my dear Watson, someone stole our tent!"
Stephen Hawking will be greatly missed for the time he walked this Earth.
What type of apple grows on a tree?
All of them.
I had a dream about a car, and I woke up exhausted.
How does a butcher keep his tent up in the wind? Steaks.
Why was Stephen Hawking good at football? Because he is a pro dribbler.
What kind of containers does the Pope keep his vegetables in?
Vat-I-cans!
Are you beef?
Because you're Carlos-Asada.