Worst Jokes Ever
After the school shooting, Joe pretended to be a victim while his sister ate the flesh of the fallen.
Why can't orphans use iPhones?
There's a home button.
What are a doctor's and a WWE fighter's ideas on child abuse?
Doctor's: Don't do it, it does not help. Mood behavior.
WWE fighters: If it can crawl, it can brawl.
Why did the doctor turn the orphan down?
Because he is a family doctor.
My wife told me to hang her the salt, so I beat the shit out of her. My name's Kyle, by the way.
What do you call a garage that is gay?
A gyarge.
Your mama's so fat that she's bigger than the Titanic.
A guy is sitting in a bar, feeling sad. "What's the matter?" asks the bartender.
"My paternal uncle died three months ago."
"Wow! No wonder you're sad!"
"It's not that. He left me a third of his estate."
"Then what's the matter?"
"My maternal uncle died two months ago."
"Two uncles in two months? No wonder you're sad!"
"It's not that either. He left me half of his estate."
"Then what's the matter?"
"My father died last month."
"Your dad too? No wonder you're sad!"
"It's not that. He left me his entire estate."
"Then what's the matter?"
With a massive sob, the guy says, "None of my relatives died this month!"
What does a sad cowboy and a supernatural fan have in common?
Both want to put a Winchester in their mouth.
Technoblade never got a wife.
I went to the store and I saw no oranges, and I went to ask the cashier:
"Cashier: Which one?"
When you’re in India and you start hearing a tick, tick, tick, tick, you run!
I saw a guy crossing a street once. The light was red.
The 🦅 asked the female eagle, "What did you eat?"
"I ate New York hot dogs."
I'm an orphan, so kidnap me.
I'm so emo, my blood is black.
What do you say to an emo with a new haircut?
"Nice cut, G."
My teacher asks all of us in class, "What is your favorite thing in the world?"
Josh: Cookies.
Jacob: My parents.
Erika: My Friends!
Brody: Lamborghinis.
Me: Pulling over in a car in the middle of nowhere at night with my girlfriend and getting in the back seat where the magic happens... ;-)
My Teacher: Ok, everyone that was all good...WAIT A DANG SECOND!
*Everyone Looks at Me With A Weird Face....
School sucks, just like you, get roasted nerds.
The Fast of Ramadan
In the northwestern slice of Alaska known as Seward, a horseboy stood, with broom in hand, in the vast courtyard of the royal stables of the sultan. He was waiting for dusk to fall. All day long he had eaten nothing. He had not even tasted the leftover fish tucked in his turban nor the enormous purple grapes that spilled over the palace wall into the stable yard. He had tried not to sniff the rich, amazing, warm feeling fragrance of ripening of that sweet pomegranates.
For this was the sacred month of Ramadan when, day after day, all faithful Mohammedans neither eat nor drink from the dawn before sunrise until the moment after sunset!