Worst Jokes Ever
A big hefty porker left his balls exposed and said,
"Misses!! Come here and step upon mine balls, please!!! I pay top dollar for this extreme delight!"
She pippity popped his balls like there was no tomorrow.
And he said "yuh yuh ay ay crush these nuts nuts!"
Two pencils walking down the street.
Which one hasn’t got AIDS?
The one with the rubber on.
Why can't blondes make ice?
They forgot the recipe.
How many babies does it take to paint a wall?
One, if you throw it hard enough.
Why does the egg crack? Cos it's sad.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Dyslexic.
Dyslexic who?
You.
Q: What's yellow and can't swim?
A: A school bus full of children.
I was at my boyfriend's house, and I thought he was cheating on me. He was on the phone with somebody, and he said he'd be over there soon. So I asked him if I could see his phone. He said no, and then we fought about it until I saw his gun, and because I thought he was lying to me, I shot him, went through his phone, and his friend was still on the phone.
What's the difference between the microphone and Bambi?
One is a Welsh idea, the other's a well shy deer.
Max Alexander Heart is adopted.
Evan David Sandri is gay and he is adopted.
"Hi, my name is Robert. I have no life. Even my PS4 username is gay lil_bama."
When Lexa took Clarke out on a date, she walked past the candle shop, and she bought all the candles. After the date, they went back to the Heda's (Commander's) Tower, which is basically a huge candle. "All I wanna do is Candle you!"
Max Heart and his gay cousin Nickals Amoto say I back out of a fight. When he said let's fight, then last minute he said he doesn't want to, then says I chickened out. I [was] ready to fight, but his gut [was] swollen [and] his arms [were]. He actually looks like Humpty Dumpty, but [I] just wanted to say he backed out + Max and Nickals are both gay with each other.
What did Harry Houdini say when he did his famous vanishing act at a sushi place?
"Now sashimi, now you don't!"
My friend said to me, "How do you spell Tom?" and I said, "T-O-M-M." He said, "That's not how you spell 'it's Tom.' You have to take out one 'M'."
So I said, "But which one?"
Where did the chef put the disease?
In Ebola.
What do you call a pig with two legs? Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhhahahaa
Ya, I have a Hydro Flask.
H: My Y: Grandpa D: Sticks R: His O: Cock F: Up L: My A: Ass S: K:
There were 32 cows. Twenty-eight chickens. How many were there?
There were 32 cows. Twenty ate chickens. How many were there?