Worst Jokes Ever
The only problem being short and gay is that whenever I try to tell people I'm top in my relationship, they don't believe me because I'm shorter than the person I'm dating, like, WTF?
"I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing, except at funerals.
My grandma always told my dad if a bird ever got in your house/truck, someone would die later that exact day.
She found out she had cancer. 11 months later, my grandpa died of a stroke. I hope to see them in heaven. I’d like to meet them. Pls comment good things. I really, really love them, even though I didn’t get to meet them. 😭😭😭
What planet is related to planet butts? Uranus.
Teacher: We have a new student today class, come introduce yourself.
Student: My name is Buttitches.
Teacher: Please tell us your real name.
Student: Buttitches.
Teacher: I’m calling the police.
Police: Son, please tell me your real name or I’m going to shoot you.
Student: Buttitches.
Police: *shoots gun.*
A few days later, the police go to the funeral and sits behind the mom. While crying, the mom says, "My Buttitches!" The police say, "We’ll scratch it, lady."
A young woman goes for her first gynecological exam, and the nurse has her take off her clothes, put on a gown, and get in the stirrups. She tells her the doctor will be in in a minute.
The doctor comes in and tells the young lady that she has one of the most beautiful vaginas he’s ever seen, and he has seen a lot of them. She thanks him for the compliment. He tells her he is about to start the examination, but he is going to have to numb her first, when she says ok, he goes:
"Num num num num num!"
Why couldn't the kid with Down syndrome play football?
Because he got all the downs.
Roses are black, violets are black.
I’m colorblind.
What did the mustard say to the ketchup at the race?
I was watching T-Series and I thought to myself, "Man, this sucks!" My sister watches James Charles, and he always says, "That's T-Series." So is it him? SUB TO PEWDIEPIE! UNSUB TO T-SERIES! THEY SUCK!
What do you call a duck with no head?
Your mom gay.
What time is it when a cow sits on your fence? Time to get a new fence!
Stranger: Knock knock.
Person: Who's there?
Stranger: Sugma.
Person: Sugma who?
Stranger: Sugma balls, kid!
What did the stepbrother and stepsister do together?
Oof, mitosis!
The Octopus joke! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
Why did the tamale go to the hospital?
because estava malito :)
What's the difference between the baby I just killed and Isaac Newton?
Isaac Newton died a virgin.
Suck my ass, guys!
What does a blowjob from an 80-year-old and bungee jumps have in common?
You feel the rush, but don't look down.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Abajo.
Abajo who?
I have abajo of water with me.