Worst Jokes Ever
Why did Johnny cry?
He was molested by his sister. Johnny enjoyed it, though.
DEEZ NUTS!
Why do mountains contain things? Because their moun-tains.
What does Stephen Hawking eat for his breakfast, lunch, and dinner?
His shoulder.
If a person walks off a hundred-foot cliff and halfway down screams, "Why did I do that?" Then a second person walks off the same one-hundred-foot cliff and screams the same verse, "Why did I do that?" Then another person walks off the cliff and screams the same line, "Why did I do that," and the next person does the same thing. What do you call that?
(Stupid People)
This isn't a joke, just an American back-to-school list.
1. Pencils
2. Binders
3. Paper
4. Pencil sharpener.
What, did you think I was going to make a school shooter joke?
Why couldn't the button get off the couch?
Because his butt weighed a ton! (butt-ton)
Why did God make the devils die?
God is great!
What do you call a three-legged cow?
Disabled.
Gun + Backpack = Fun!
Why do elephants paint their toes red, blue, green, orange, brown, and yellow?
So they can hide in a bag of M&Ms.
Why can't the blind man see? Because he can't see.
Puns, that's how I roll.
A guy walks into the house carrying a sheep and says out loud, "This is the pig I screw when you're on the rag."
His wife replies, "That's not a pig, it's a sheep."
He says, "I was talking to the sheep."
A horse, a fox, and a bunny join together and make a rock band. They started doing tiny gigs, but they got famous and went on tour. They all got so famous it went to their heads, and the band disbanded. The fox made his, and the bunny made her own. The horse was sad that the band was no more, so he went to a bar, and the bartender asked why the long face?
A man found out that he was going to die.
A German doctor comes in and says "you have 10 more". The man yells out "10 WHAT!! DAYS!!!! WEEKS!!!". And the doctor says "No seconds". And the man says "9 SECONDS!!!" And the doctor says "Nein. Ten seconds". He asked "How many seconds do I have to live 10, 9 , or...?"
Then he died and learned how to say no in German....
Yo mama so tall!!! When she wakes up from her bed, she stands up and finds NASA beside her face, and she thinks it's a fly!!!
What do you call high Mexicans?
Baked beans ;)
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and Rocket League? You can't stand up.
Jesus walked, so Mohammad can fly.