Worst Jokes Ever
A man walks into a skyscraper bar and takes a shot of tequila and jumps out of a window. An onlooker watches this and is scared, but what scared him most is when the same man who jumped came back up again 10 minutes later.
The onlooker who is amazed asked the man how he was still alive, and the man said with a drunk, slurred voice, “I don’t know, every time I take a shot and jump I float right before I hit the ground!” The man demonstrates and as he said floated down and came back up to the bar. The onlooker says that he must try, slams a shot of tequila and jumps SPLAT!
The bartender looks at the first man and says, “Your an a**hole when your drunk, Superman.”
What weighs 5 oz. and is very dangerous?
A sparrow with a machine gun, of course!
Down syndrome and brownies.
What kind of bees produce milk?
Boobies.
A drunk guy asked his penis: 《Tell me, how can you get shorter and longer and I can't?》
《Why don't you speak to me?》
《Stop getting shorter and longer or I will choke you.》
《Oh yeah, I like it ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)》
Hhhhhhhhh ♪(┌・。・)┌
Yo mama so fat, when she goes to the beach, the people shout, "Free Willy!"
There's 10 kind of people in the world. Those who know binary and those who don't.
What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
So you wanna play like that, ayy? Well, Sydney didn't wanna play like that either, and that's why you got arrested.
Why is it poetic when they have plenty of those German sandals in the store? Because they're Birkenstock.
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Slap it on the arse and tell it to keep going!
Why was Hellen Keller a bad driver? She was a woman.
Also, I have the same Birthday as her, so I have the pass.
Doc: Can I help you?
Girl: Doctor, I have pain in my heart.
Doc: When did it begin?
Girl: Right now (seeing him like a doll).
Doc: Hh...do you like me? I know I am handsome...
Girl: No, don’t get me wrong. You just look like someone I know.
Doc: Who is that? Is your boyfriend?
Girl: No, it’s my pet (rabbit), his name is Rokie.
When you realize the shuttle blew up.
Then you realize you're on the shuttle.
A paraplegic walks into a bar...
It's funny because he can't walk.
Your mom is so stupid, she thought eating ass was cannibalism.
So you get a new job, and here's something about this guy named Mike.
The next day you go into the office and Mike is sitting next to you, with unicorns and rainbows and stuff. Then, a co-worker comes up and says, "No one told you Mike was gonna be this GGGAAAAYYYYY *clap clap clap clap*."
What did the one-handed man have for breakfast this morning?
Finger food.
I made an AR that shoots boo boo bullets. It does poison time 10x damage. You have a very good chance of getting STD. Very good AR. Going for 100,000. Email: EatandDrinkbouls@gmail.com
Question: What’s bald and is in a straight line?
Answer: The cancer ward. 😵😂😂