Worst Jokes Ever
What is a redneck's favorite sock?
A red sock.
All Asians look the same.
I got a heart pain then I went to [the] hospital. When the doctor says I am dead, but I run then I jump. I am not dead!
Jack and Jill went up the hill to start to build the still for Jill.
Jack stopped and said to drunkin' Jill, "To build this still will take so long."
Jill said to Jack, "Well, f--k the still and kiss my ass, and watch me take another pill!"
Two drunk men spot a pig on some old farmer's land.
And they were real hungry (or so they said), and they both decided to take the pig with them into their car and eat it somewhere.
And so they did, and the farmer came out with a gun while they hurriedly drove off, and the farmer said, "Well goddammit, if it was a pig they wanted, why didn't they just take my wife?"
Why did Arnold throw his clock out of the window?
It reminded him of Richard Clocks, a man convicted for knife raping his wife.
What's the difference between acne and a Catholic priest?
Acne waits until a kid is a teenager to come on its face.
You wanna hear a joke about my penis?
Don’t worry, it’s too long.
What did Saskia say to Brandon?
Saskia: "Can you rape me like you did Sydney?"
Famous last words.
Twin towers: “Is it a bird, is it Superman? AAAAAHHHHHH SHHHHHIIIIIIIIIZZ!”
A blond, a brunette, and a redhead walked into a bar. The bartender told them there was a magic mirror in the bathroom. He said that if you spoke the truth in front of the mirror, you would have your greatest desires, but if you told a lie, you would disappear.
The redhead said that she was the prettiest girl in the bar, and she walked out of the bathroom, and she got a thousand dollars. The brunette walked in and said she was the smartest one in the bar. She walked out of the bar with a new car. The blonde went in, she said, "I think..." poof, she was gone.
Lachlan
Whet
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill?
Because of gravity.
Why do disabled people get picked on so much?
Why did the clown stop smiling?
Someone chopped his lips off.
At what speed is the curry going at?
In a hurry to the curry, man!
What's the difference between a rock and a dead baby?
You can't fuck a rock.
A bicurious man goes to a gay bar.
A gay man offers him a drink.
The bi man explains he doesn't know if he's gay or not.
"That's fine," he says, "let's just have a drink."
The gay man asks him for a dance, and he explains again he isn't sure if he's gay or not.
Eventually, the gay man invites him to go home with him to hang out as friends.
They get to his house, and the gay man says, "Do you fancy having sex?"
He isn't sure, so the gay man explains, "I'll push in slow, and at any point you want to stop, make animal sounds, and if you like it, start singing."
So they get to it, and the gay man pushes in slowly, the bi man bursts out "MOOOOO MOOOOO MOOOOOOVVVEE CCLOSSEEERRRR"
Why do people with Down syndrome always look funny?
It’s their funny face.