Worst Jokes Ever
Why didn't the octopus get a tent? Because it had tentacles.
Why do terrorists like the Twin Towers?
It's the next thing they blow up.
What can you say about that homeless man's life and current status?
Wasted.
What can you say about planes that you can say about stocks?
They both be flying??
Peter's playtime.
My dick harder than stone, man.
For all those Simpsons fans out there, this one I'm sure you know:
Abe: "It's rotten being old. No one listens to you."
Lisa: "It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you."
Homer: "I'm a white male, aged 18-49. Everyone listens to me--no matter how dumb my suggestions are."
Rodd Flanders: What's "gay" mean?
Bart: Uh, it means you used to be afraid, but now you're not.
Rodd says to his dad Ned: I'm gay, Daddy.
You know I would make a deaf joke, but I don't think they would hear it.
What do you call a body without a nose?
Nobody knows.
A kid decided to burn his house down.
His dad watched, tears in his eyes. He put his arm around the mom and said, "That's arson."
Why can't a Leicester fan pull girls? He can only do the fox trot.
Two muffins are in an oven.
One says, "Man, it is hot in here!"
The other one says, "OMG, a talking muffin!"
Your forehead so big, I think that's what Kobe crashed into.
Fard.
My grandfather said my generation relies too much on the latest technology. So I unplugged his life support.
What do you call it when an Astartes cum's... torrential downfall?
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
QoS.
QoS who?
QoS there me me who me and you.
I know this is supposed to be an emo joke, but does anyone want to play Rocket League?
I'm on PS4, by the way!
My name: Box3d_by_Clapped
One day, a lady and her husband were talking and it was time for dinner. He got up and sat at the dining room table, and the lady brought the plate of food in and she sat it down in front of him. "What's this?" he said. The lady said, "A piece of shit...honey! Want some water to drink?"