Worst Jokes Ever
Me walking away after committing murder in a school with my trusty “friend”.
What’s the difference between your wife and a light switch?
I don’t turn on a light switch.
D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: Don't take drugs kids!
Me: My therapist says I need those to live.
D.A.R.E. Lion Mascot: _escorts to school counselor_
Me and rose bushes have something in common: mangled, can hurt, red, and people only like one part.
Mom: “Guess where I’m taking you, son!”
Son: “To the playground?”
Mom: “No, to the morgue.”
What's the difference between me and the rest of America?
I love one and hate the other.
What do you call an orphan's family photo?
A selfie.
Why do all orphans have an iPhone X?
Because it doesn't have a home button.
I'm jealous of the people who never met you.
I'll unplug your life support for my phone that's about to die.
I will unplug your life support to kill my mum and then give her blood so she can bleed more.
I will unplug your life support to kill my mum and give her it so she can bleed more.
Bro, my forehead is so big whenever I need to find something on it, I need the exact coordinates.
So, when I'm about to take a shower, my mom says, "Take a shower." When I'm about to take out the trash, my mom says, "Take out the trash."
Why did they put the Petronas towers? Eh, you do you.
I got carded at a liquor store, and my Blockbuster card accidentally fell out. The cashier said, "Never mind."
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home base.
Your mom is emo, Deacon.
What do you call a man in love with an emo?
I really don't know.
Your hairline is so long it reaches your toes.