Worst Jokes Ever
Ugly kid, people keep saying I'm ugly.
Me: They're certainly not wrong.
Little Steven was scared to take a shower by himself, so he asked his mum to shower with him. She said ok just don’t look up. He looked up and said wow what are those. She said they are headlights. He looked under and stuck his finger in it and said oh what is that. She said that’s a Pu-pu-pu Bush!!
The next day Steven’s mom wasn’t home so he asked his Papa can I shower with you? He said ok just don’t look up. Well Steven looked up and said WTH IS THAT? His dad said it’s a Snake. That night he asked his parents if he can sleep with them. They said ok Just don’t look under the covers. He grew bored then looked under and Screamed mom turn on the headlights There’s a snake in the bush.
Why did the little boy get hit by a car?
Answer: Because Sally was driving!
787 bowing.
A train walks into a bar. It says to the barkeeper, "I'll have a gallon of ale."
"A gallon?" the barkeeper asks.
"Yes," replies the train, "I always end up chugging it."
What can't a Desert Eagle and Barrett do for stealth missions?
They can't be way too loud.
What do a tank and a warship have in common?
They're overweight.
What’s Whitney Houston’s favorite type of coordination? HAAAAND EEEEEEEEEYYYYEEE!
What’s better than Ted Danson? Ted singing and Danson!
What did the drummer call his twin daughters? Anna one, Anna two!
I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don’t know what he laced them with, but I was tripping all day!
What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeño business!
Why did a school shooter get banned from a game server?
He was caught aimbotting.
When you tell the men in the suits you can see that the demons of your sins are watching you...
But they know you're blind.
Why can't orphans go on a field trip? Because they don't have a parent's signature.
Why can’t orphans play baseball?
Because they can’t find home.
There are two kids sitting in a classroom: Lily and John. Lily sleeps in class every day.
The teacher asks Lily who made heaven and earth. John pokes her with a pencil. She shouts, "Jesus Christ Almighty!"
The teacher says, "That's right."
The teacher says the next day she asks the same question. John pokes her with a pencil. She shouts, "Jesus Christ Almighty!"
"That's right," the teacher says.
The next day she asks Lily what did Eve say to Adam after their 100th. John pokes her again. "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I'mma break it in half!" she shouts.
Hello Steve!
Friends, gather here.
Samantha, Josephine, Stevie, Jess, Alice, and Alex.
My mum told me to do the dog poo, but I couldn't find you anywhere.
What's the difference between a school shooting pistol and a baked potato? The physical composition, of course, but they both pack the same heat.
What did Hermione say when she pantsed someone?
"Wow, Harry!"
Why can't an orphan hit a home run?
They have no home to run to.
Why do orphans go on holiday?
To see what family is like.