Worst Jokes Ever

You're so ugly that when One Direction saw you, they went the OTHER direction!

Yo mama so fat, she was the asteroid that killed the dinos.

A blonde starts a new job at a local car dealership when a wealthy gentleman comes in looking for a spacious car for his large family. The blonde is excited as she gets commission, so eagerly shows him the most expensive SUVs.

The gentleman has a good look around before saying to the blonde, "It looks perfect.... But cargo space?" To which she instantly replied, "Oh, I'm sorry, sir, car only for road."

Yo mama so thick, they need an aircraft carrier to take her places.

I asked my friend, "Shouldn't we have 6 senses?"

He replied, "What is the 6th sense?"

"Common sense," I shot back while looking at the kid who was going to detention. "Never mind," I said.

What's one thing you can say about your house, but not your girlfriend?

"I wish it were this color, why is it leaking there, I need help trimming the grass I mean bushes, I own it."

I called my guy friend a cock-sucker the other day. He replied with, "Hey, 20 bucks is 20 bucks."

What is the difference between me and food?

Food has a use.

Q: What's the difference between a Genealogist and a Gynecologist?

A: One looks up the family tree and the other looks up the family bush.

When is a door not a door?

Bro, your hairline and an athletics track have one thing in common: they look like Humpty Dumpty.

If y'all gotta crush on me, tell me now before my dad spends my Valentine's money on crack and alcohol.

Do you know when an African doesn't feel hungry?

When he is dead.

What kind of pizza did the Twin Towers order?

Nothing, it was just plane.

Even though I look completely white, I am apparently 70% black!

Until I realized that it was a mouth swab test.

I turned gay because my wife is too poor.

Your hairline is like the economy, it's going down.

What's the difference between a bird and an emo?

Birds fly.

If a dog is white with black spots, then it is 90% great and 10% guilty because it half way starts crimes and is a mistake to the world and is punished by the white dogs that are full white and not mixed colors.

Why did the skydiver bring a backup parachute?

In case the first one wanted to "cut ties" with them mid-air.