Yo momma so fat that she don't need a backpack. She keeps her things in her Lagrangian points.
Worst Jokes Ever
Where do spiders commit crimes?
The Dark Web.
It's not surprising there isn't a whole lot of good tree jokes.
Most foresters have a wooden personality.
Why does Mexico not have an Olympic team?
Because all of them that can jump, swim, and run are already here.
Let's take a look at the Swedish bench for today's game. $12.99 from Ikea.
What happens to grapes when you step on them? They wine.
Nobody really liked our fireplace.
So I turned it into a brick pizza oven. Idk why, but now everyone likes our fireplace.
What does a construction worker say to another construction worker?
Screw you!
Did you hear the gossip about butter? Never mind, I butter not spread it...
It was so cold out today believe it or not, I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets!
I wasn’t planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.
Teacher: Okay class, what's a word that begins with A?
Student: Apple!
Teacher: Good! What's a word beginning with B?
Student:....Bitch...
Hi stone, I'm watching.
Why didn't the seagull fly over the bay? Because it would be a bagel.
When I see James Charles, my popcorn goes pop pop.
Did you?
How do you get a cow to eat?
Give it mooshrooms!
What is the giant's synonyms?
Fi, fo, fum.
My wife and I have reached the decision that we do not want children.
If anyone does, please comment your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
Levon Aronian's wife died in a car crash. That's wheelie unfortunate.
