Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call an orphan if every other orphan gets picked?
Someone: Ugly?
Me: No, trick question, they are still an orphan.
If I had a garden, I would put your tulips against my tulips... 🌷
What do gay people get for Christmas?
Discrimination.
Why can't people with Tourette's learn to drive?
Because they'll cause a car crash.
We just got a new chicken-proof lawn. It's impeccable.
What do you call people who jump into the Hoover Dam?
Dam fools.
Life is like a McDonald's meal; it only lasts 7 seconds for fat people.
"I hope my death would make more sense than my life."- Joker
What is Saturn's favorite movie?
Lord of the Rings.
If I send a clown to deliver flowers to my wife...
...is that a romantic jester?
What's the difference between an anal and oral thermometer?
The taste.
I was at an emotional wedding. The cake was in tiers.
So a blind man walks into a bar.
At least he thinks so.
Reporter: "Excuse me, may I interview you?"
Man: "Yes!"
Reporter: "Name?"
Man: "Abdul Al-Rhazim."
Reporter: "Sex?"
Man: "Three to five times a week."
Reporter: "No no! I mean male or female?"
Man: "Yes, male, female... sometimes camel."
Reporter: "Holy cow!"
Man: "Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general."
Reporter: "But isn't that hostile?"
Man: "Yes, horse style, dog style, any style."
Reporter: "Oh dear!"
Man: "No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch."
So my teacher's daughter committed suicide.
One day I'ma go up to her and say, "What's wrong, did Logan Paul leave your daughter hanging?"
What’s the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby?
Dogs only lick peanut butter off private parts.
what song did people in Hiroshima listen to?
"Here Comes the Sun."
Me: I know why you don't have friends.
Kid: Why?
Me: Because you can't even figure that out.
If a midget says your hair smells nice, is that sexual assault?
Why does no one look up at Steven Hawking?
You have to look down to see him.