Worst Jokes Ever

A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar.

These two have been great friends for over 20 years...play golf together...and meet every Tuesday at a classy bar for a glass of wine...talk about golf...good wine and spiritual matters. One day while at the bar enjoying a glass of merlot, the Rabbi raises his glass of wine and says to his long time friend.."brother, do you believe Jesus turned water into wine?"...the Priest thinks for a moment and raises his glass of wine and replies..."yes brother, I do believe Jesus turned water into wine...but don't get excited...since Jesus was Jewish, the wine was probably Manischewitz."

When I saw Stephen Hawking for the first time, I knew he had been in a shop!!! I lieeeeeeeeed! 🤣🤣🤣

Are you feeling down? Because I wanna feel you up.

Stephen Hawking died because his screw fell out.

I got two cups of milk. One for me and one for my son.

We both drank them at the same time and tried not to puke. I won, since my son is face first on the table with his blood all over.

If Thomas Running invented running, what did Paul Walker invent?

Dark humor is like water. It exists.

What’s the difference between an apple and an orphan?

Apples get picked.

What did the emo guy say to the emo girl?

"Like ur cute g."

"OH MY GOD! IT SPEAKS!"

You're a gray sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake.

"I love all mankind!" said the cannibal.

When Bob got on that sled, I don't know how he went so smoothly, but that is the invention of bobsled peoples.

And then Mark came in.

Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice?

Because it said "concentration camp."

Mommy?

If we can't say "God" in vain, why does He get to?

What makes piracy and anti-piracy so unique?

One isn't that of a thief, while the other is as serious as fuck.

What is worse than ten dead babies nailed to a tree? One dead baby nailed to ten trees.

Why can't orphans go to Costco?

Because it's a family shop.

In prison, they called me sweet cheeks.