Worst Jokes Ever
A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar.
These two have been great friends for over 20 years...play golf together...and meet every Tuesday at a classy bar for a glass of wine...talk about golf...good wine and spiritual matters. One day while at the bar enjoying a glass of merlot, the Rabbi raises his glass of wine and says to his long time friend.."brother, do you believe Jesus turned water into wine?"...the Priest thinks for a moment and raises his glass of wine and replies..."yes brother, I do believe Jesus turned water into wine...but don't get excited...since Jesus was Jewish, the wine was probably Manischewitz."
When I saw Stephen Hawking for the first time, I knew he had been in a shop!!! I lieeeeeeeeed! š¤£š¤£š¤£
Why are emo kids the best jumpers?
Because they never fall down.
Iām rather relaxed about death.
From quite an early age, Iāve regarded it as part of the deal, the unwritten guarantee that comes with your birth certificate.
Stephen Hawking died because his screw fell out.
I got two cups of milk. One for me and one for my son.
We both drank them at the same time and tried not to puke. I won, since my son is face first on the table with his blood all over.
If Thomas Running invented running, what did Paul Walker invent?
Dark humor is like water. It exists.
Whatās the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples get picked.
Don't break girls' hearts. Break their legs instead. They're two.
What did the emo guy say to the emo girl?
"Like ur cute g."
"OH MY GOD! IT SPEAKS!"
You're a gray sprinkle on a rainbow cupcake.
"I love all mankind!" said the cannibal.
How is the weather down there?
Orgasm means two things:
1. During you masturbate.
2. You torture phantoms.
When Bob got on that sled, I don't know how he went so smoothly, but that is the invention of bobsled peoples.
And then Mark came in.
Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice?
Because it said "concentration camp."
If the noose breaks, stab yourself!
If the knife is dull, shoot yourself!
If the gun's out of ammo, *YOU'RE HERE TO SUFFER ETERNALLY.*
Mommy?