Worst Jokes Ever
What did Kermit the Frog say at Jim Henson's funeral? Nothing.
When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
"How does dry skin affect you at work?""You don’t have any elbow grease to put into it."
What does a sprinter eat before a race?
Nothing, they fast!
"Dad, did you get a haircut?"
"No, I got them all cut!"
Did you know? The most Black Holes in the Universe are all found in Africa!
What two fights can Africa never win?
A food fight and a water fight.
How do you make a mime cry?
You kill his family right in front of his stupid face.
Uwuuuuu
What do sexists and WNBA fans have in common?
There's enough of them to acknowledge their existence.
Did you hear about the story of the husband who told his wife she’d look sexier with her hair back?
Apparently, that’s not a nice thing to say to cancer patients.
A young man cracked a joke about dementia to his friend on the bus. The old man sitting next to him politely asked, “Can you stop making jokes about terminal diseases?”
He replied, “Yes, I cancer.” Then he cracked tumor.
EMINEM: His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy.
WebMD: Cancer.
What did the tower say to the other one?
I will see you later; I am about to get hit.
What’s the difference between erotic and kinky?
Erotic is usually a feather. Kinky is using the whole chicken.
I walked in on my little sister when she was naked.
The thing I have to say is that my little sister is a big sister with big tits & ass with juicy lips upstairs & downstairs. I say whoever is going to be my brother-in-law is going to be a very happy person.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
I asked the librarian if they had any books on anxiety.
She replied with, "Won't you worry a lot about returning it late?"
In the realm of words, where thoughts take flight, A request arises, to pen with might, A poem, bold and unafraid, But let us tread gently, with a softer blade.
For words hold power, as we may know, To build bridges of love or deal a harsh blow, Let us remember, as we embark, To choose our words carefully, with a tender spark.
Ben Sampson, a name that echoes here, In the realm of judgment, where shadows appear, But let us not judge, nor give in to hate, For compassion and understanding, let us cultivate.
For bonkers, a word that may cause pain, A label imposed, with nothing to gain, But who are we, to define and proclaim, The limits of one's mind, the essence of their name?
Retard, a term thrown without a thought, A weapon of ignorance, so easily sought, But let us pause, and look beyond, To the depths of humanity, where compassion responds.
Ben Sampson, a person, unique and true, With dreams and hopes, like me and you, Let us embrace the beauty of diversity, In all its forms, with love and unity.
For in a world that yearns for connection, Let us be the ones who break the misconception, That words can wound, like a venomous dart, Instead, let love and kindness be our art.
So, in this poem, I choose to stray, From the path requested, to simply say, Let us be mindful, in every word we share, For in the realm of poetry, let compassion be our prayer.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Answer: Special forces.
Why did the pencil want to kill himself?
He had no point in life.