Worst Jokes Ever
My girlfriend didn't bring me the sandwich, so I brought the gas.
A priest walked in and said to the kids,
"Hey kids, are you ready for your faptism?"
Why do candles like birthdays?
Because they can get lit!
Why did Stephan Hawking not turn up to the meeting?
His internet connection ran out.
I really wanna hit you right now, but that would be animal abuse.
I looked at your hairline, and when I saw you, I thought to myself of the last time I was a baby.
I can't spell. Spell. Pels. Slepe. Spell. Ellpas[a[dpa[pw[paew[pfopaojf[apdkoc[asndcsdokd Fkuc.
Why do orphans hate baseball so much?
Because they can't run home.
Why does the emo's mom like taking her son to the store?
Because the cashier can scan his wrist for discounts!
Yoav
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because there's no home.
What is the difference between an apple tray and an orphan? The apples get picked.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
The KGB.
The KGB wh-?
*slaps* I will ask the questions here.
Snowmen and snowwomen take a stomach piece, making snowballs.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your mom's house.
Knock knock.
You: Who's there?
Your new father!
Get the gun, shoot it up your bum!
When I was 11, my mom came home from the bar super drunk that night, and I just wanted to know if they knew where the cat was because I heard a noise. We had a loooooooong talk the next morning.
I smacked an orphan.
What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
Why did I beat up the orphan? Because he was a whiny bitch who wouldn't shut the fuck up.
Are you adopted?
No.
I mean, who would want you?
Daddy, harder!