Worst Jokes Ever
A guy gets home from work to see his girlfriend packing, and he asks her why she is packing. The girl says, "Because I found out you're a pedophile." The guy goes, "A pedophile?" And she says, "Yes." The guy goes, "That's a big word for a 12-year-old."
Um, I need help. How should I deal with depression?
Joke: I wish my grass was emo, so it would cut itself.
The kid's dad was a magician because he disappeared and never came back.
Why can’t an orphan play baseball?
They can never do a home run.
I hate when people leave their cars running, especially in the summer.
I'm like, "You got Tracy Latimer in there or something?"
What do you call a fast boat?
Usain Boat.
What do you call a deep diver? A DeepWoken player.
I just read that someone in New York gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor guy!
Your mom is so fat that when she went on top of one of the Twin Towers, it collapsed.
Your mama is so ugly whenever she threw a boomerang, it refused to come back.
Why is "dark" spelled with a "k" and not with a "c"?
Because you can't C in the dark!
Freddy: I'm coming for you >:)
Me: God, no, help!
*game notification pops up with very loud sound*
My therapist told me to write letters to the people you hate and then burn them.
I did that, but now I don't know what to do with the letters.
Why do men find it so difficult to solve puzzles after taking Viagra?
Because they just keep getting harder and harder!
What do 15-year-old boys and washing machines have in common?
They both like keeping one sock for themselves.
How do you know if you’ve walked into a sex addicts' counselling session?
The psychologist will thank you for coming.
What does cake and baseball have in common?
They both need a batter.
When does Friday come before Thursday?
In the dictionary.
Did you hear about the guy who was afraid of hurdles? He got over it.
Why did the drum go to bed? It was beat.