Worst Jokes Ever

Worst Jokes Ever

Why can’t orphans eat cereal with milk? Cause mummy never gave them some.

Friend 1: How come when you say "apart" your lips move apart, but when you say "together" they move apart?

Me: Maybe your lips want a divorce.

I was dying when I called my sister and she said, "Hi, this is Pepperoni's pizza and abortion clinic; your loss, our sauce. How may I help you today?"

Why would you not let an elephant sleep in the same bed with you?

Because they stink and now the room smells like elephant shit.

This dude is so fat, wearing the same damn clothes every day. Every time he turns around, it's his graduation day. He forgot to put a boomerang on his pants because they don't even fit anymore. Last time I saw him coming down the street, it was in a bucket of Popeye's chicken, extra crispy.

What's the difference between Madeleine McCann and a boomerang?

The boomerang is guaranteed to come back.

I just took an orange soda bath this morning. The next thing I knew, it turned out to be a river of Orange Crush.

Your computer just went in my bathroom and took a shit because you put too much chili in the bowl.

My sis came up to me and said, "Mom told me to take the trash out for the rest of the year."

"So, uh, you free tomorrow?" 😂