Worst Jokes Ever

The moment when you throw the nut away and try to eat the shell.

If just Africa had more mosquito nets, millions of innocent mosquitoes could be saved from a horrible death of AIDS.

Yo mama's so fat, her belly button gets home 15 minutes before she does.

I would give you a thrashing, but that would be animal abuse.

My mom went to take out the trash, but I couldn't find you.

Yo momma is so old, her birthday's expired.

Yo momma so fat, a picture of her would fall off the wall!

Yo mama's so stupid, it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.

Yo mama's so old, her social security number is one.

Yo mama's so ugly, her birth certificate is an apology letter.

Q: What is the difference between Michael Jackson & Neil Armstrong? A: Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, and Michael Jackson f@ck$ little kids in the a$$!

Whenever someone calls me ugly, I get super sad and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired.

Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat? Cut off your head.

Joe Mama so fat, when she told a joke nobody laughed, but the floor was cracking up.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

Knock, knock. "Who's there?" Not Sally.

I once met a skeleton. I asked if I could tell him a joke. He agreed. I told it to him. He found it quite “humerus”.

Solicitors are more likely to harass someone with a “no soliciting” sign on their front porch.

Stephen is lucky he doesn’t need a vibrator.

He’s got himself.

I ate some gunpowder once. It was an exploding experience.

My parents told me that when they had sex, it was absolutely shambles.

Thankfully, it turned out that they were real balls.