Worst Jokes Ever
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Little boy blue.
Little boy blue who?
Michael Jackson.
What animal has 5 legs?
A pitbull on a children's playground.
A 10 year old girl reported to her friends that her 16 year old male babysitter was touching her inappropriately. He quickly lost his job as a babysitter.
A 10 year old boy reported to his friends that his 16 year old female babysitter was touching him inappropriately. She quickly became the most popular babysitter in town amongst boys.
What’s the difference between erotic and kinky?
Erotic is usually a feather. Kinky is using the whole chicken.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
Your hairline goes so far back, I remember seeing it in the Stone Age.
What are the 2 fights Africa could never win?
A food fight and a water fight!
Dolly Parton and Queen Elizabeth went to the Pearly Gates on the same day.
They both met with an Angel to find out if they would be admitted to Heaven.
The angel said, "Unfortunately, there's only one space in Heaven today, so I must decide which one of you will be admitted."
The Angel asked Dolly if there was some particular reason why she should go to Heaven.
Dolly took off her top and said, "Look at these, they're the most perfect breasts God ever created, and I'm sure it will please God to be able to see them every day, for eternity."
The Angel thanked Dolly and asked Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth, the same question.
The Queen walked over to a toilet, pulled the lever, and flushed it without saying a word.
The Angel immediately said, "OK, your Majesty, you may go into Heaven."
Dolly was outraged and asked, "What was that all about? I showed you two of God's own perfect creations, and you turned me down. She simply flushed a commode, and she got admitted to Heaven! Would you explain that to me?"
"Sorry, Dolly," said the Angel, "but even in Heaven, a royal flush beats a pair - no matter how big they are."
Only if Africa have enough mosquito nets, the mosquitos will not die of AIDS.
Why is it so punny when Sans tells a joke in the evening?
Because a SANSET is happening.
how old are my girlfriends
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjBTsoYph48 oh and there my little sisters
Your mum stinks of disabled people.
Wanna know why?
I don't know either, you tell me.
Stop making jokes about 9/11. My dad died in 9/11.
Best pilot of Southern Arabia
Allahu Akbar.
God, when terminally ill children beg him to heal them:
God: No, I don’t want to.
What do you call people with ADHD?
A brainless speeder.
What’s the difference between God and Hitler?
God made thousands of bread, Hitler made thousands of toast.
What do us emos all have in common?
Depression. Anxiety. The sole desire to just start saying you wanna kys right out of the blue a lot and saying "I CAN'T WAIT TO JUMP OF THAT BUILDING SOON!" and other people say, "Idgaf, do it, all of us would be happy."
What do Boy Scouts and IG models have in common?
They both be fucking sugar daddies.
What comment did the United States Senator Kamla Harris make when one of her 64% blue dog democrat constituents called her incompetent?
"Sometimes I sits and thinks, and sometimes I just sits!"