Worst Jokes Ever
Why can’t orphans have sex, my friends? Why? They have none to call daddy.
The police told everyone to put their hands up, and the police were having fun waving their hands around.
What's a man's favorite thing that starts with "m" and ends with "arriage?"
Miscarriage.
"It never gets old."
"Just like a sick kid!"
What starts with "M" and ends in "arrige" and is a man's favorite thing?
Miscarriage, this joke never gets old, just like the baby.
What's the difference between a high street betting firm and a prostitute?
You can get on with a prostitute!
Every time I come in the kitchen, my girl is in the kitchen in the damn refrigerator eating all the food, like the fried chicken, the mashed potatoes, the collard greens, mac and cheese, and the cornbread.
Then I said I wanna eat some of that shit. I love soul food. Then I told her, "You keep it up; your fat ass is going to be big like the house on Haunted Hill."
What do you call one baby in ten trashcans?
Chopped Junior!
Are the three little pigs orphans because their mom kicked them out of the house?
Have you heard about the awesome fruit race?
The lettuce was ahead, but the tomato was able to ketchup!
What does one piece of toilet paper say to the other?
"I'm wiped!"
Hi, this is John's Pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is our sauce!
What do you use to strap an eagle's nest together?
An eagle-lastic band!
I did have a good night's sleep and a good day today, and tomorrow I have [planned] for a good night's sleep, and sleep with my...
What do tomatoes 🍅 do when they meet?
They ketchup.
Why do flamingos sleep with one leg up?
Because if they slept with both legs up, they would fall over!
PP in the poo poo.
A cow was walking down the road, and it saw a beautiful cloud in the sky, so it said, "That is an a-moo-zing cloud!"
Roses are red, violets are blue,
I am gay, so are you.
So I was walking in a store, and a carrot and a lettuce said, "Lettuce leaf!" to me.