Worst Jokes Ever
Yo mama is so stupid, she thought a jigsaw meant dancing with a saw!
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because 7 ate nine.
What do you call a bitch?
You call it a female dog.
What is a Jedi's favorite Italian dessert?
Obi-Wan Cannoli.
The cop that is on a 12 o'clock shift says, "Hands up!"
My cat got run down. That is a cat-astrophe.
What is worse than a dead baby in a trash can?
100 dead babies in a trash can.
What is worse than that?
There's a live one at the bottom.
What is worse than that?
It eats its way out.
What is worse than that?
It comes back for seconds.
Why am I idiot?
What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?
Dam.
When the phone is ringing, Dad says, "If it's for me, don't answer it."
Welcome to the Church of the Holy Cabbage.
Lettuce pray.
I almost got run over by a car.
For the rest of the day I was taking the backseat as I was wheely tried.
Stephen Hawking died crossing the road. He was hit by a Universal Serial Bus.
I went to the zoo the other day. There was only one dog in it. It was a shih tzu.
A wife asks her husband: Am I pretty or ugly?
The husband answers her: Pretty.
The wife responds: Thank yo-
The husband interrupts her: Pretty ugly!
How do you get a Pikachu on a bus?
You poke it on.
Where did Susie go after the bomb exploded?
Everywhere.
What did Steven Hawking say?
Nothing.
No, no, no, no. Spot the intruder.
There's no one.
How many times can 46 go into 8? Just hop in the van and find out.