Worst Jokes Ever
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He tried to download a free version of Windows.
The gayest person in the world is Pacman. You can pay him to eat 200 balls.
Why did 1 break the door open? Because 2, 3, 4.
How do you make antifreeze?
You steal her blanket.
If an athlete gets athlete's foot... What does an astronaut get? Mistletoe!
I don't ever really bother women, but when I do, I usually just want to talk. I guess since I just so happened to be a straight male that's not a 10 or a 5, I get shutdown so fast. I put out lit candles...like damn, I thought I hid my ring.
There was a man. He came home with his friends from the bar and man was he ever wasted! Their friends made sure to get him home safely. The next morning, he woke up and found blood all over his nightstand. He called his friends and asked for his alarm clock back.
Loud Korea noise.
Q: What did the butt say to the face?
A: It farted!
I had a dream about being forced to eat a huge marshmallow.
I woke up and my pillow was gone.
Chuck Norris gets paid $2 million a month training Bear Grylls how to survive in the “harshest conditions on earth.”
Why are Communists considered the left?
Because they can’t do anything right.
What do women and moldy bread have in common?
A yeast infection.
My wife asked me to get her a puppy. I agreed and went to an animal shelter. As I was searching for a puppy, a fire was set, and the entire animal shelter burned down.
A few hours later, I returned to my wife. She knew I had no puppies and asked why. I replied, "I couldn't find any." She understood but was upset, so I gave her something that I did get. She said, "Wow! This is good, what smokehouse did you get this at?"
I was in a toxic relationship. After some time, my girlfriend died. Her name was Happy. Still got no clue of her body, and here I am lying on the bed so fucking happy.
I see that you start work at 9am, but your hairline starts at 9:15am.
All of us.
yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
Kenya believe it?
A man enters the bank and says, "Hi, I'm robbing you!" The man was arrested instantly.