Worst Jokes Ever
Roses are red, violets are blue, and if you're my friend, I'll be there till the end.
What do you call a cemetery of dead Arabs? A mine field.
Politics.
Mia: I'm pregnant again, Paul. I can't wait for you to come home.
Paul: I got a tree to hit on the way.
I love climbing over walls because my ancestry was Mexican.
Why can't you teach an orphan new tricks?
Because there is no one to teach them.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Your dad.
But my dad's dead.
I know, just reminding you!
What do you call intelligent people in the U.S.?
Tourists.
What is heavy forward but not backward?
How do you make holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.
Hey, did you hear about the cat revolution? It was a cat-astrophy! I guess we just have to stay PAWSitive!
Why did the out of shape cow quit her job?
She got tired of jumping over the moon.
What's worse than funny condom fails?
Jake Paul.
What is a spaceman’s favorite chocolate?
A Mars bar!
What's worse than 5 babies tied to 5 trees?
1 baby tied to 5 trees.
How do you make a blond snowman? You can't, you have to hollow out the head.
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know what a home is.
A bear walks into a bar and asks the barkeep, "Can I have a grilled . . . cheese?"
The barkeep asks the bear, "What's with the big pause?" The bear says, "Well, I'm a bear."
What do you call a kid with no arms or legs?
Names......
Why couldn’t little Susie stay on the swing?
She had no arms.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Not Susie.