Worst Jokes Ever
I love my grandpa, he killed Hitler.
Yo mama so fat, her belly button got 15 minutes before her.
What looks like half a cat?
The other half.
Dad: I’m taking your toys to the orphanage.
Child: But why?
Dad: Because you’re going to need them there.
Yo mama so dumb, she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept!
Things you say before sex, Disney addition:
"Have you seen my Mouseketool? Oh, Toodles!"
Why did Dairy Queen and Burger King get arrested for copyright infringement? Because they gave birth to Five Guys.
Mirrors can’t talk; it’s sad that they can’t laugh at you!
"Sonic Says", "If you're ever bored and have nothing to do, then just punch an orphan in the face. Who are they gonna tell? Their parents?"
My friend asked me if bees can fly in the rain. I replied, "Not without their yellow jackets."
Angela: Kris, I just met the nicest, sweetest guy ever.
Kristie: Who is he and what is his name?
Angela: His name is Kevin.
Kristie: Kevin? I remember him. He said he had to go to Italy for a meeting, never seen him after that. What the hell is Kevin doing here?
Angela: I don't know.
What's the difference between an orphan and baseball?
In baseball, you know where home is.
What is the difference between an orphan and Pokemon?
People choose Pokemon.
Why do orphans miss half the basketball season?
They don't have home games.
Why were the students jealous of the orphan?
He never had any homework!
(I'm going to hell for this)
If she’s old enough to breed, she’s old enough for me.
"Jordan, motherfucker, your face looks like a slut, and your life is trash. Stop picking on kids and LEAVE THEM HELL ALONE!"
What did Nemo's dad say? "Man, he's a lot like my dad, I can never find him!"
When they walk in and you're fucking... everyone at the morgue.
So, my kid took my car. He crashed it off a bridge. I miss it, but it's going to have my car.