Worst Jokes Ever
You know you’re getting fat when you sit in the bath, and the water in the bath rises.
Yo mama so fat, when she talks to herself, it’s a long-distance call.
You are so fat that the last time you stepped on the weighing scale, the doctor said, "I want your weight and not [your] phone number."
"hipede hop hiped d the twin towers will be gone tomoreo at 8:43"
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I saw your mom beat you.
Who were the fastest readers on the planet? 9/11 victims, they went through 80 stories in 10 seconds.
Why is the record for longest jump kept by an emo?
They're still hanging.
What do you call two black lads in gold?
A Twix.
What can you do if you can't bear sharing the same blood as your father who raped you?
Have a blood transfusion.
Why don't emo girls date emo boys? Cause they've already got a pussy.
Q: How do you turn a cat into a fish?
A: Tell the woman not to wash down there.
Yo mama's so stupid, when I said, "Drinks on the house," she got a ladder.
Yo mama's so ugly, when she was little, she had to trick-or-treat by phone.
What do you call a wheelchair on fire?
Hot Wheels.
Q: How do you know it's time for bed at the Neverland Ranch? A: When the big hand touches the little hand.
Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a bucket of water.
WHERE DO THEY REALLY GO BECAUSE WATER CAN NOT BE AT THE TOP OF A HILL!?. I honestly think that only people with a physics degree can make nursery rhythms.
What do you call a cupcake with no frosting? A frosting cupcake.
A priest walks outside and finds two young boys sitting on a big ice cube. The priest asks what they are doing. The boys answer that the priest always likes a couple of cold ones before he goes on.
Did you know an apple and an orphan are different.
An apple gets picked.
Fat women can't walk, but on 9/11, they ran.