Worst Jokes Ever
"Confucius say: Man go asy, full retard. It's an art, a weapon, and a lifestyle. Once you go full retard, there is no going back."
Yo mama is so unfamiliar with the gym, she calls it James.
Why was 9 afraid of 20?
Because 28, 29.
You wanna know why the Titanic was split in half? The iceberg hit it from the front and back.
What did Sally get for her 18th birthday? A brick.
Why did she get a brick? She hit 18.
Why do Indians gamble so much? They are hoping to one day reclaim their land.
Why is the sun so attractive? Because it is burning hot!
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
Must be more than 9, my basement is still dark!
How did Stephen Hawking really die?
His wife grounded him from using electronics and unplugged everything!
What do you say to a magician with autism?
Are you "Autism-ic?"
Can we have a party in space?
First, we need to planet ;)
Get it? "Plan it" = planet.
What’s the difference between Jimmy and a normal kid? Jimmy is fat.
A pedophile brings his eight-year-old daughter to the doctor's office. The doctor asked her if she would like some candy? Her father replies, "Please, no more candy for her. I gave her enough today."
I lost my virginity once and found it in a store being sold off.
What's thick, 12 inches, and in your mum's throat?
My penis.
Three Indians get captured by an enemy leader, and the leader says, "Go in the woods and find 10 fruits of the same kind."
The first one comes back with apples. The enemy leader says, "Shove them up your butt and don't make a sound, or I will kill you." He gets to two and yells. The leader kills him. He goes up to heaven.
The second guy comes back and has grapes. He gets to 9 and laughs. The leader kills him. He goes to heaven.
The first guy asks the second guy why he laughed, saying he had it in the bag. The second guy said he saw the third guy carrying pineapples.
What did the girl get for Christmas?
Cancer.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He lost a water gun fight.
When Chuck Norris was asked, "Do you know the way?" he replied, "I am the way!"
Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle?
His wife is dead.