Worst Jokes Ever
You wanna know why the Titanic was split in half? The iceberg hit it from the front and back.
What did Sally get for her 18th birthday? A brick.
Why did she get a brick? She hit 18.
Three Europeans come to America. They all get captured by Native Americans, and they want to kill them, but the Europeans beg to have their lives spared.
The Native Americans agreed to not kill them on one condition: the Europeans must go into the forest and bring back a fruit, and they will be informed what to do with it. So the first guy comes back with a peach. The Native American says, “Shove it up your butt, if you laugh we kill you.” So, he shoves the peach up his butt and he laughs, and the Native Americans kill him. The second guy comes back with a grape. The Native American tells him the same thing. He laughs and the Native Americans kill him. They both see each other in heaven, and the first guy says to the second guy, “I had a peach and peaches are fuzzy, so that's why I laughed, but you had a grape, what happened?” The second guy says, “Oh yea, I was doing just fine until I saw the other guy come back with a pineapple!”
"Confucius say: Man go asy, full retard. It's an art, a weapon, and a lifestyle. Once you go full retard, there is no going back."
What’s the difference between a baby and a beet?
Beets stain your teeth.
There’s no "I" in "sex," but there’s a "U" in "cum."
My mama always told me, don't pick your nose or it will fall off! I thought she meant my nose.
Hey, give me a break! I'm a little shorthanded!
Oh no, not rock paper scissors again! I always lose. Come on guys, I just lost my finger a day ago! This is Tony, later on.
Why is the sun so attractive? Because it is burning hot!
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Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she was in a wheelchair! 🤣🤣
Little Susie had gotten her first period. She told her mom, and they bought pads.
The next month, Susie's mom asked if she had her second one. Suzie said no, and her mom fainted!
Why did the strawberry 🍓 go out with a banana? Because it could not find a date.
What do you say to a magician with autism?
Are you "Autism-ic?"
A pedophile brings his eight-year-old daughter to the doctor's office. The doctor asked her if she would like some candy? Her father replies, "Please, no more candy for her. I gave her enough today."
Can we have a party in space?
First, we need to planet ;)
Get it? "Plan it" = planet.
What’s the difference between Jimmy and a normal kid? Jimmy is fat.
What's thick, 12 inches, and in your mum's throat?
My penis.
I lost my virginity once and found it in a store being sold off.
What did the girl get for Christmas?
Cancer.
Three Indians get captured by an enemy leader, and the leader says, "Go in the woods and find 10 fruits of the same kind."
The first one comes back with apples. The enemy leader says, "Shove them up your butt and don't make a sound, or I will kill you." He gets to two and yells. The leader kills him. He goes up to heaven.
The second guy comes back and has grapes. He gets to 9 and laughs. The leader kills him. He goes to heaven.
The first guy asks the second guy why he laughed, saying he had it in the bag. The second guy said he saw the third guy carrying pineapples.