Worst Jokes Ever
What’s the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked!
What's the best way to find the Twin Towers?
Bucket.
What can a dwarf do standing up that a tall person can't do standing up?
Suck a big dick.
Wife: Honey! Do you like tea?
Husband: No, I like after "T"!
It means: the letter "U": you!
Why did Helen Keller have no ornaments on her Christmas tree?
'Cause she always dropped them.
There was a car accident, and the cops pull up to the crime scene to start asking people questions. The police started talking to a blonde lady and said, "What happened here?" She responded by saying, "A car crash." They then asked, "But how did it happen?" She responded, "The cars crashed into each other." They finally said, "But why did it happen?" The lady said, "Oh, I know where you're going with this. It happened because when cars push on the gas pedal, the car goes forward, and they both pushed it, so they both went forward and hit each other." One cop said, "Never mind, ma'am," and they started walking away.
The blonde lady then said, "Oh, and officers, my computer froze. Do you think I should put it in the microwave or in the oven?"
What's the difference between my basement and my garage?
One has a pile of babies' bodies; the other has their heads.
The only profession where one could have coronavirus and still go to work is a suicide terrorist.
What did one tampon say to the other tampon?
Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches!
What happens when two pieces of bread from the same loaf have sex?
They become in-bread.
What did Pluto say to Saturn while barbecuing steaks?
"Mine is meatier than yours."
The Bigfoots had a campfire. One Bigfoot asked what should we roast next. The other replied, "Maybe a penis and a girl."
A mom cow's last words were to the mom cow's son. They were, "You are..." then died. The son thought that he was adopted, but then three years later, the mom cow rose from the dead and said to her son that she was going to say, "You were adorable." Then she died once more. Then two years later, she rose from the dead for the last time to say to her son, "And that's why we adopted you."
No matter how big the jar, there is one thing that can never fit inside it. What is it?
Imagine there's a funny joke here... imagined it? Great! Now check yourself into an insane asylum because you're schizophrenic.
"I really hate cats," my friend replied with, "You gotta be kitten me!"
What is a room you can not enter?
A mushroom.
OMG, I had a really good hand joke, but I just couldn't put my finger on it.
What's worse than 10 babies in a truck?
One baby in 10 trucks.
I hate it when people say to suck it up... I mean, sometimes I don’t want someone’s dick in my face.