Worst Jokes Ever

What’s the difference between a dog and a marine biologist?

One wags its tail, and the other tags a whale!

What's the difference between your mom and a troll?

Nothing, they both look the same.

Me: Mom, stop, you are not funny. You never make jokes.

Mom: I made you.

Alya, I need to talk to you now. If you don't reply, I will kermit the not living, and if you don't think I will, I will post your OnlyFans photos I get every month for $5.99 a week (high price if you ask me)!

Do you know who Helen Keller is?

Neither did she.

What do people have a shot at when it comes to love? Shooting them in the heart.

Why did the painting go to jail? Because it was framed!

There’s a one-story house in which everything is yellow. Yellow walls, yellow doors, yellow furniture. What color are the stairs?

Answer: There aren’t any—it’s a one-story house.

What can you hold in your left hand but not in your right?

Answer: Your right elbow.

Your uncle Jack is stuck on the horse...

Would you help him jack off the horse?

freshfry, we need to talk now...

A teenage girl got a summer job dogsitting for a gigantic English Mastiff. She spent hours with the dog, and walked a little funny when she got home.

"What are you doing all day?"

"Knot a lot."

What do you call Peg and Cat from Peg + Cat? Egg + splat.

Eggy joke for all to enjoy!

Did you know the "f" in "orphan" stands for family?

Kid: There is no "f" in "orphan."

There is no family.

Stop with the emojis. They kinda just make the joke cringy. For example: How many ppl 🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷🤷 does it take to have 🥒🍑🍑🍑🍑🍑???? Well, it takes at least 1 🤷 and 1 👰 and they make a perfect ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🤎🖤. See how cringy it is. I mean sure, it's a dumb example, but still, just at least less emojis.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

I hate you.

I hate you who?

You hate me?? Rude!

Why can I be black? Because I look like I have puberty, and I sound like I had puberty.

I stood in front of the mirror. "Joseph, I will love and protect you forever," my dick cooed. I looked down at it, a single crystalline tear sliding down my face. I was at peace.

Hey guys, I haven't been on in like freaking forever! Sorry. Anyways, I love you, Emerald! :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDD I hope you're on!

Love you all. Hope you all have a nice day, Best regards, Koko, <3

What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?

Pull the pin and throw it back.