Worst Jokes Ever
What do you call a 5th grader with no friends?
Sandy Hook survivor.
Why are black men's eyes always red after sex?
From the mace.
When I was a kid, my father would tell me that the black Santa Claus was coming to our house for Christmas. So, instead of putting out cookies and milk, we would put out cornbread and purple Kool-Aid.
There's only 3 types of people: the ones who can count and the ones that can't.
My friends in my friend group say that I am quiet and I don't do anything bad. I proved them wrong by murdering the leader of it.
The worst part about working for the department of unemployment is when you get fired, you still have to show up the next day.
How do you know Adam and Eve were White?
Have you ever tried taking a rib from a Black man?
My biology teacher told us "get out nice and sharp colored pencils." Does she mean as sharp as in the blades I use to cut myself?
What has 4 wheels, no wings, and flies?
A dead cripple.
What is the difference between a hipster and a hockey player?
A hockey player showers.
I wanted to tell a joke about Jonestown.
But the punch line is too long.
Why do cemeteries have fences?
Because people are dying to be there.
Why shouldn't you make fun of burn victims?
Because they've already been roasted!
People ask me, "Are you an organ donor?"
"Yeah, over my dead body!"
Do you know what the F in orphan is for...
Family.
My son is such a miserable brat, I bought him a brand new trampoline for Christmas and all he wants to do is sit in his wheelchair and cry.
What do alcoholics and gas prices have in common?
They both get really high.
What do you call plane crash victims?
Down to earth people.
A doctor walks into the room and tells his patient, "I have some bad news for you. You really have to stop masturbating."
The man looks aghast and says, "Oh my God, doc, why?!"
The doctor replies, "I'm trying to examine you."
What is a terrorist's DJ name?
Osama Spin Laden Dropping beats like the Twin Towers!