Worst Jokes Ever
Why were the Twin Towers mad?
They ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plane.
My wife Jean is happy, 😊 pretty, 😍 and pregnant,🤰 boy, 👦 am I glad 😊 I bought her 👩 a new whirlpool washer and dryer.
Washer: $249.95 Dryer: $199.95
Why do orphans live on buses?
They never have a home to stop at.
Why can’t Michael Jackson go more than 500 feet into a school?
Because he’s dead.
What do dropouts and Boeing 767s have in common?
They crash and burn.
Your mom is a spy <3, just like in bed.
Do you want to know how the NY Jets got their name?
A guy gives labor to a baby girl and a boy twins. The doctor said but the lady was like,
"Ugh, why do I need my husband to be in labor and I want a girl, not a boy, just a girl!"
The lady passed out 😵 and then found out she was in a coma. The man who was in labor died. The two babies got a nanny, an evil one. The nanny killed the babies on their first birthday.
My heart broke as I went down the stairs, and my girlfriend broke her heart.
Your hairline is so far back that I can't even back out of my car.
Sans: What do you have there?
Frisk: A KNIFE!
Sans: NOO!!!
Thanks to the voice who keeps telling me to let go,
he is my only motivation for trying again.
So there was a reason why I hated math.
I suck at problem-solving.
Being asked for advice after a failed suicide attempt:
"What advice do you have for people out there?"
As a suicide professional, don't try this at home.
Your Mom is so fat, she could be Trump's border wall.
All these 9/11 jokes need to stop.
My uncle died in 9/11. At least he died doing what he loves: flying planes.
How did Helen Keller's parents punish her?
They stuck a plunger down the toilet.
Sister: Wanna know the difference between your singing and your flute playing?
Me: Sure... (Expecting a completely different response than what I get.)
Sister: Nvm, they have no difference.
Me: *Confused*
Sister: They're both horrible.
Why was the soldier reading the Geneva convention?
To-do list.
Sometimes when I'm sad, I remember I have a big dick.