Worst Jokes Ever

What's 9 + 10?

21

I'm not suicidal, I'm just speedrunning life.

Are you a rope? Because I wanna hang with you.

You know what really gets me under my skin when I'm down? Sharpener blades.

I broke up with my girlfriend, so I stole her wheelchair, and guess who came crawling back.

An old lady in the bank told me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.

Taking an emo kid grocery shopping does have its perks... You get to scan their wrists for discounts!

I don't struggle with self-harm, I do it everyday.

What's a depressed person's favorite drink?

Depresso expresso.

JK, bleach.

If you were a food, what would you be?

Friend 1: "Pizza, cause I'm so cheesy."

Friend 2: "Chocolate chip cookie, cause I have lots of friends."

Me: "Donut, cause I'm so empty inside."

20 years of sex in the dark, the wife finds out he was using a dildo. The wife gets angry and says, "Explain the dildo, prick." The husband says, "Explain the children, bitch."

My child: "Dad, am I beautiful?"

Me: "You’re like the sun, sweetie. You’re painful to look at."

What's the difference between a maze and a depressed life? One of them you can find a way out of.

The twin towers were basically Angry Birds but in real life.

They say people are 75% water.

But I'm 100% useless.

Life's too short to want it.

Why can orphans travel around so much? They never get homesick.

Why did the emo kid get kicked out of the amusement park?

He kept cutting in line.

What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a walkie talkie? Stephen can't walkie and Stephen can't talkie.

How to fall down stairs.

Step 1. Step 2. Step 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.