Worst Jokes Ever
What pictures do orphans take? Selfies.
I asked my friend if they will show me something retarded. He said, "Go look in a mirror." I said, "Thank you."
Why was the dog stealing shingles?
He wanted to be a woofer.
I'm going to make a city just for people with special needs.
I'll call it Downtown.
What’s the best thing about dating an orphan?
You don’t need parental consent.
I don't joke about vegans. That would be tasteless...
I have no beef with them.
I don't see why people say emo kids never hangout.
Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up.
Class: No one stands up.
Teacher: Oh, c’mon. I know someone over here is dumb. *teacher waves her finger around the left side of the room.*
Little Johnny: *stands up.*
Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you’re dumb?
Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you’re standing alone.
Dark jokes are like home. A lot of people don't get it.
You wanna know proof that cats don't always land on their feet? Well then, watch The Lion King.
My grandpa is a great hero. He's the one who shot Hitler.
What if soy milk is just regular milk trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Yo mum." "Yo mum who?" "Yo mum is watching you wank right now."
What did the mayonnaise say when the refrigerator door was opened? Close the door, I'm dressing.
Why did Jeffery Dahmer not eat old people?
He does not like roasted vegetables.
Why do gay people like sports?
Because they get to play with balls.
What do you call an acid with a bad attitude?
A-Mean-O-Acid.
My mum said take out the trash, so I took my sister.
A man accidentally elbows a woman's boob as she is standing behind him in a hotel lobby. The man apologizes profusely and says, "If your heart is as soft as your breasts, I know you'll forgive me."
To which the woman replied, "If your dick is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 318."
At the bar last night, a woman got her nipple pierced right in front of me.
On a related note, I suck at darts.