Worst Jokes Ever
How do you stop a dog from humping your leg?
Pick it up and suck it off...
Mfs be saying Kobe is good at basketball cause he is 6 feet, ye 6 feet underground.
A man puts in ten jokes into a joke contest. He hopes that at least one will win. Sadly, no pun intended.
What is blue, green, flat, and has teeth?
The Earth, but I lied about the teeth.
Q: What do you do if you bump into a koala?
A: You koalagize to it.
Two atom soldiers are fighting against an army. One gets shot. He cried out, "I'm hit! I think I've lost an electron!"
"Are you sure?" asks the other.
"I'm positive!"
How many ears does Captain Picard have?
Three: A left ear, a right ear, and a final front-ear.
A man was taking a young child into the woods.
The young child said, "Mister, it's getting dark and I'm scared."
The man replied with, "How do you think I feel? I have to go back alone."
What did the 1.8 nanosecond old baby get for his birthday?
Nailed to a puppy falling on a buzz saw being crushed in a hydraulic press while being set on fire.
Me: Opens the window to get some fresh air.
Everyone else on the plane: 😟...😱
When in Poland people go to a house party, and the atmosphere is bad, nobody is talking, they say: "Is there a German here?"
What's the difference between an air blower and Little Boy?
When the air blower blew, it did not wipe out Hiroshima.
What do you call an abortion in a bathtub?
Chunky Tomato Soup.
Race car backwards is race car.
Race car sideways is how Paul Walker died.
What's the difference between a water bottle and Africa?
One has water; the other one doesn’t.
I am really gay. I just needed to confess this.
I get more care packages than Africa.
So a girl says to her ex, "I can't get you out of my mind, the boyfriend I knew." The girl replies, "I see you in everything, like when I'm walking down the street, even at work, like trash cans are everywhere."
What did the wire say to the electrician?
"Stop twisting my nuts!"
My wife wanted to make a joke about domestic abuse, but I beat her to it.