Worst Jokes Ever
How many ears does Captain Picard have?
Three: A left ear, a right ear, and a final front-ear.
A man was taking a young child into the woods.
The young child said, "Mister, it's getting dark and I'm scared."
The man replied with, "How do you think I feel? I have to go back alone."
What did the 1.8 nanosecond old baby get for his birthday?
Nailed to a puppy falling on a buzz saw being crushed in a hydraulic press while being set on fire.
Me: Opens the window to get some fresh air.
Everyone else on the plane: 😟...😱
When in Poland people go to a house party, and the atmosphere is bad, nobody is talking, they say: "Is there a German here?"
What's the difference between an air blower and Little Boy?
When the air blower blew, it did not wipe out Hiroshima.
What do you call an abortion in a bathtub?
Chunky Tomato Soup.
Race car backwards is race car.
Race car sideways is how Paul Walker died.
What's the difference between a water bottle and Africa?
One has water; the other one doesn’t.
I am really gay. I just needed to confess this.
I get more care packages than Africa.
What's the useless skin around the vagina? A woman.
So a girl says to her ex, "I can't get you out of my mind, the boyfriend I knew." The girl replies, "I see you in everything, like when I'm walking down the street, even at work, like trash cans are everywhere."
What did the wire say to the electrician?
"Stop twisting my nuts!"
My wife wanted to make a joke about domestic abuse, but I beat her to it.
I was going to tell you a cow joke...
But it's pasture bed time.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They can't find home.
Dead baby jokes never get old...
I'm 34 and I went on a date with my 19 year old girlfriend. I got heckled with "you're a paedophile!" and "you sick F...!" Completely ruined our 10th anniversary!
That joke and paper have one thing in common: they're both tearable.