I think the military shouldn’t allow trans people, because all they'd do is switch sides.
Worst Jokes Ever
The blind person can’t eat fish, it’s “sea food”.
Why is the orange so blind? Because it needs to take Vitamin C!
Dad and Mom: -takes one look at Child-
Dad and Mom: "We don't want him."
Orphan: And I took that, personally.
Kid with Cancer: "When I get older, I want to be a movie star or a singer."
Nurse: *Laughs*
Kid: "Why are you laughing?"
Nurse: "When I get OLDER."
Proceeds to laugh.
A cow is an earthquake, it's a milkshake.
Pregnant teen: I'm pregnant, my mum's gonna kill me.
Unborn baby: My mum's gonna kill me.
I went up to the blind kid and said, "Can you get that for me?" and he said, "I can't, I'm blind." And so I said, "I see."
What do a fat woman and bricks have in common? They both get laid by Mexicans.
Pizza Hut.
"Have a nice day" and "enjoy the next 24 hours" mean the same thing, but one sounds like a threat.
Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it.
At the bar last night, a woman got her nipple pierced right in front of me.
On a related note, I suck at darts.
What is the last thing you wanna see during a prostate exam?
The doctor taking off his watch.
Dad: Ok son, if you fail this test, you're no longer my child, ok?
Son: Ok dad.
AFTER TEST
Dad: Hey son, how'd the test go?
Son: Son?
Why are women and children evacuated first in a disaster?
So we can think about a solution in silence.
I hate how politically correct the world is these days, you can't even say "black paint."
You have to say, "Leroy, please paint that wall!"
Why do oompa loompas secretly take Skinny Dips in Willy Wonka's chocolate?
They wanted some chocolate balls.
What does an orphan get for Christmas? Hypothermia.
I asked my friend if they will show me something retarded. He said, "Go look in a mirror." I said, "Thank you."
