Worst Jokes Ever
BF: Babe, I have two questions.
GF: Ok, ask!
BF: Where have you been all my life?
GF: Aww, that's so sweet. And the second question?
BF: Can you please go back there?
I was the second worst thing to happen to those orphans.
Did you know that former Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison was a firefighter? He got fired for trying to fight a fire with tickets to Hawaii.
Boy: Will you remember me in a minute?
Mom: Yes.
Boy: Will you remember me in a day?
Mom: Yes.
Boy: Will you remember me in a year?
Mom: Yes.
Boy: Knock knock.
Mom: Who's there?
Boy: Bitch, you forgot me.
Girls: OMG what color should I use, baby blue, light blue, or navy blue?
Boys: blue is blue.
Me dozing off while driving.
Everyone else on the passenger plane: September 11, 2001.
A feather and a depressed boy fell at the same time, which one hits the ground first?
The feather, because the rope stopped the child.
Why can't orphans work at SC Johnson?
Because it's a family company.
Why can't orphans play baseball?
They don't know where home plate is.
What’s the difference between a job and a wife?
The job keeps sucking after 5 years.
Man A: "Is Google male or female?"
Man B: "Female, because it does not let you finish the sentence before making a suggestion."
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.
Guy: Are you a vending machine? Because you're a snack.
Girl: Your card got declined.
Guy: That's ok, you got to bang them a few times to get you money's worth.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
What's the difference between apples and orphans?
Apples get picked.
Did anyone ever notice that "STUDYING" is a mixture of studying and dying?
Roses are red, violets are blue, When I see you, I play with my poo.
My dad died in 9/11. He was a Muslim pilot.
I gave the blind kid a gun and called it a hair dryer.
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Because their daddy still hasn't come home with the milk.