Worst Jokes Ever
Every time I work late at the hospital, I help the patients sleep.
There isn't a snooze button on the beeping things, so I unplug them.
I had sex with a disabled girl. You can say I handiclapped those cheeks.
What is a deaf person's favorite game?
Charades.
You are so scary that even your hairline ran away.
What's the difference between an orphan and a criminal?
The criminal is wanted.
GF: What do you think of our love?
BF: Count the stars in the sky.
GF: Aww... It's infinity!
BF: Nope. It's just a waste of time.
Guy: Are you a vending machine? Because you're a snack.
Girl: Your card got declined.
Guy: That's ok, you got to bang them a few times to get you money's worth.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
An apple gets picked.
I took my mother-in-law out yesterday morning,
It's great being a sniper.
What's the scariest thing about white people in prison?
How rare they are.
"MINE MINE MINE MINE MINE"
I was the second worst thing to happen to those orphans.
BF: Babe, I have two questions.
GF: Ok, ask!
BF: Where have you been all my life?
GF: Aww, that's so sweet. And the second question?
BF: Can you please go back there?
We all know yo homie bout to hop in a fight when:
1. He staring mighty hard at y'all.
2. When your friend know you gon get your ass beat.
3. When your friend say he not gon jump in (you know he lying).
Me: Hey friend!
Friend: Yes?
Me: What is the missing sense? Seeing, smelling, _, tasting, hearing.
Friend: Touch.
Me: What do you spawn on Minecraft always? (jk only 99.99%)
Friend: Grass.
Me: And you get?
Friend: Touch grass.
What does a person eat before a race?
Answer: They fast.
What did the right eye say to the left eye?
"Between you and me, something smells!"
What’s the difference between a job and a wife?
The job keeps sucking after 5 years.
Gay is a mental illness.
You're not thinking straight.
Why can't an orphan play baseball?
Because they don't know where home is.