Worst Jokes Ever
Stairs are bad, because they are always up to something.
In the words of Kerk Cobane: "Check this sweet no scope!"
Me: *looks at person's hand* This guy doesn't have fingers!
Random person with no fingers: Why do you have to point that out?
I heard an unusual word the other day: "Opaque."
Unfortunately, what it means is unclear.
Once a mustang, always a mustang. - Mr. Shaw
So I saw the police. I yelled, "Dumper, get into the fucking yumper!"
Jace: Haha, I won, dude. You suck at Monopoly!
Timmy: Let's play another game. *GUNSHOT* I guess I won!
Jace: *SCREAMS IN PAIN*
Timmy: What? I thought we were playing Chutes and Ladders!
What is the best way to end a cookbook?
And that’s a wrap!
Why was the dog staying in the shade?
Because it didn't want to be a hot dog!
My dog got mad at me for touching his toy. Do you know what he said?
"Get your paws off!" 💩💩💩
What type of flour do orphans use to bake with...? Self-raising flour!
Knock knock. Who’s there? Gary. Gary who? Gary a torch.
This text does not contain a joke.
What did the Alabama graduate say to the Tennessee graduate?
"Welcome to McDonald's, may I take your order please?"
Why did the hipster burn his tongue?
He sipped his coffee before it was cool.
I submitted 10 puns to see if they'd make this list.
But no pun in ten did.
Why was the Burnside Bridge so hot?
Because it's on the burning side.
Yesterday I made food using oil--olive oil.
(I love oil!)
Sam Gonzales
What's breakdancing, twitching, and noisy?
A child with epilepsy.