Worst Jokes Ever
What's the difference between a gun and a penis?
The American government does not define you as having the constitutional right to a penis.
What did the talking rope say to the man?
"Just hang in there."
Yo mama so fat her yearbook picture was a double-page spread.
Three men die at the same time and go to Heaven. St. Peter says to them, "It's going to be a long journey to heaven, so I will give you a good vehicle depending on how much you've cheated on your wives."
"We'll start with you, Michael. Since you were quite the womanizer and cheated on your wife multiple times, you will be getting a Toyota." The man, embarrassed, left in the Toyota.
"Nolan, you were better; you cheated on your wife twice, so I will give you a Mercedes. Now, as for you, Mark, you never cheated on your wife; you are an absolute saint, so I will be giving you a Lamborghini."
The man in the Toyota saw the man with the Lamborghini the next day crying like a child on his car, and he asked the man in the Lamborghini, "What the hell is going on?"
The man in the Lamborghini says, "I just saw my wife riding through the streets of Heaven on roller skates!"
I bet the emo kids are jealous when they go to a funeral.
Your mum is so fat, when I see her, I get depressed.
The next time I knock on your door, I'll hit you instead of the door.
I could tell a joke right now, but it's too dark.
The daughter walks up to her father and asks him, "Dad, can I ask you something?"
The father says, "Of course, what's your question?"
The daughter replies and asks, "How do you feel about abortion?"
The father says, "Why don't you ask your sister?"
The daughter replies, "I don't have a sis-"
What’s a zebra? A few sizes bigger than an A.
Why can't orphans watch PG?
They don't have any parental guidance.
Woman: A woman’s life is harder, there is menstruation, periods, birth...
Man: Men have to deal with women.
What's an orphan's favorite shop? Home Depot.
Did you hear about the TikTok post that offended disabled people? Some didn't reply because the comment section was disabled.
What do you call a 17-year-old orphan?
Homeless.
What do I and a brand new chandelier have in common?
One of these days, we’re both gonna be hanging from the ceiling.
Say what you want about Hitler, he wasn’t all that bad. After all, he killed Hitler.
I’m not a weatherman, but I’m expecting a few more inches tonight.
I shouted at a kid. I told him to get his parents.
It was the last time I worked at an orphanage, 🤣.
Most orphans were born on the highway. It’s where most accidents [happen].