Worst Jokes Ever
Why is the Reaper not funny at all?
Well, he tells dead jokes!
She later made me a sandwich, and she cut the crust off it.
Why do orphans go to church?
Not because they are religious, because they want someone to call father.
What do you call a suicide bomber in a wheelchair?
An RC-XD.
What do you call a guy in a wheelchair that lives with the royal family?
Rolls Royce.
Want to save 50% on your Chinese?
Just ask before you pay.
Been learning Chinese...
69 is too-can-chew.
One twin tower had a girlfriend. The other twin tower had the same girlfriend, so they both went down.
What is the difference between a woman and ice? The ice always comes back.
Yo mama is so ugly that when Santa came to the house and saw a picture of her, he died.
Jokes about ISIS are all about the execution.
Q: What do you call an Asian paralympian?
A: Lim Ping.
A young cowboy entered a seedy cafe in a small West Texas town.
He sat at the counter and spotted an elderly cowboy with his arms folded and his gaze fixed on a bowl of chili. After roughly 15 minutes of staring at it, the young cowboy boldly inquired, “If you’re not going to eat it, do you mind if I do?” Slowly turning his head toward the young wrangler, the older cowboy muttered, in his best cowboy voice, “Nah. Go ahead.”
The young cowboy eagerly reached over and slid the bowl over to his spot, spooning it in with glee. He was almost to the bottom when he noticed a rotten dead rat in the chili.
The sight was shocking, and he immediately upchucked the chili into the bowl. The old cowboy quietly said, “Yep, that’s as far as I got, too...”
What is the most awkward moment when Helen Keller is playing pin the tail on the donkey?
Her friends aren’t sure whether to blindfold her.
An old professor’s class used to begin with a dirty joke.
Following one particularly vulgar joke, the girls in the class decided to walk out the next time he began.
When the professor learned of this planned protest, he came in the next morning and said, “Good morning, class. Did you hear about the scarcity of whores in Newfoundland?”
With that, all the women stood up and headed for the door.
“Wait, ladies,” called the professor, “The boat doesn’t leave until tomorrow!”
What’s the hardest part about being a pedophile?
Fitting in.
What’s an Emo’s favorite exercise?
The dead hang.
One day, Jim saw a kid sitting on the curb dressed in rags. He asked if he was an orphan.
The kid said, “Yeah, what gave me away?”
Jim said, “I don’t see any parents.”
Why can’t Helen Keller jump out of an airplane?
It scares the shit out of her dog.
What does a cop say when they shoot ginger?
"Orange is the new black."