Worst Jokes Ever
Why don't communists like Microsoft? Because it's Minecraft instead of ourcraft.
What has hands but can’t clap?
A thalidomide baby.
Guys, look at the comments, omg!
What's tree plus tree? Sticks! (Three plus three equals six).
How does a tree access the internet?
By logging in and branching out!
Johnny: Why do cuss words exist?
Mom: That's not something you should think about right now. I'll tell you when you're older.
|| 20 YEARS LATER ||
Johnny: Mom, now can you tell me why cuss words exist?
Mom: Because some people invented them so that they could use them when something annoying happened to them.
Johnny: Damn, Mom, you shoulda told me that when I was still seven 'cause now I really feel like that person.
I'm afraid for my gay calendar. Its days are numbered!
Leave a like if you LOL at this joke!
My great grandpa killed Hitler.
I'm about to tell a dwarf joke, see how short that was.
What is the difference between a frog and a trombone player?
The frog might be on his way to a gig!
You never think of how people will react to an event. My friend gets discounts at any store he goes to.
What is the difference between a priest and anesthesia?
The anesthesia takes time to put you under.
What did the hamster say to the penis? "Ha, you look just like me!"
Dark humor is like life:
Not everyone gets it.
Q: Why did the student eat his homework?
A: Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
Why was the computer late for work?
He had a hard drive.
A man was shaving in the bathroom when all of a sudden Bubba, the boy he payed to mow his lawn, comes in to take a piss. The man can't help but look over his shoulder and he is surprised at how well endowed he is, and he asks: "Bubba, what's your secret?"
Bubba replies: "Well, every night before I get in bed with a woman I whack my dick on the bedpost three times. It works, and it sure impresses the girls!"
The man was excited at this easy suggestion and decided to try it that very night, before he went to bed with his wife. So he got to bed and whacked his dick on the bedpost three times and the wife wakes up and says "Bubba, is that you?"
This orphan showed me a family photo.
But it was just a selfie.
Yo mama is so fat, a picture of her would fall off the wall.
Q: What are women better than men at doing?
A: Winning arguments.
Q: What are men better than women at doing?
A: Winning swimming titles.