Worst Jokes Ever

What do you call a nun on a bike?

Virgin Mobile.

What do British politics and transgender people have in common?

Both aren't what they used to be...

Where did Jeffrey Epstein go to college?

Bring them young.

A teacher wanted to teach her students about self-esteem, so she asked anyone who thought they were stupid to stand up. One kid stood up, and the teacher was surprised. She didn’t think anyone would stand up, so she asked him, “Why did you stand up?” He answered, “I didn’t want to leave you standing up by yourself.”

Fight in the comments.

How are corpses like pools?

Once you get in, it's only cold for like a minute.

What is a necrophiliac's safe word?

"I'm alive!"

What is George Floyd’s best pick up line?

"You're breathtaking."

I saw a Black person riding a bike, so I ran back to my garage. He was still eating.

What do Israel and Epstein have in common?

"Look at that, time to blow up some kids."

If a pregnant emo kills herself, is it murder-suicide?

What’s worse than running with scissors?

Scissoring with the runs!

I told my brother if he wanted to have a wonderful first day of school, then he should put a cookbook in the women's sports section at the school library.

What do you call a Mexican with one leg?

Border hopper.

What’s one thing you can say during family dinner and in bed?

"Will there be seconds?"

What’s one thing you can say during a wedding and in bed?

I didn’t know we were having seafood tonight!

Q. What's the best part of living in Alabama?

A. Not having to change your last name when you get married.

After an unsuccessful harvest, why did the farmer decide to try a career in music?

Because he had a ton of sick beets.

I only seem to get sick on weekdays. I must have a weekend immune system.

I hate my job—all I do is crush cans all day. It’s soda pressing.