Worst Jokes Ever
Q. What monster plays the most April Fools' pranks?
A. Prankenstein.
I would tell you a science joke, but I know I won't get a reaction.
[God creating a jellyfish]
God: How about an evil bag?
A seal walks into a club.
I like playing with Yoyos, because at least they always come back.
How do you scare a bee?
Boo-bee!
What happened when the teacher tied all the students' shoe laces together?
They took a class trip.
Why can't bugs drive... because they don't have a LICE-ens...
BA-DUM CHHH!
Q: Why did the family want to move out while the neighbors were playing tennis?
A: Because they were a racquet!
What do you call a person who's afraid of Santa?
Klaustrophobic.
I went scuba diving last year. It was fun, but at the end, I ran out of oxygen.
It was a breathtaking experience.
Velcro is such a rip-off.
A guy bought an AMG and crashed it. Now he knows how the Mercedes bends.
Why did the M&M go to school?
It wanted to be a Smartie.
I left Iran. Guess how? I ran!
In the words of Kerk Cobane: "Check this sweet no scope!"
A guy walks into a butcher's shop and says, "Sir, are you a gambling man?"
The butcher says, "Why yes, as a matter of fact, I am."
"Then I'll bet you $25 you can't reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there."
The butcher thinks for a moment and says, "I'm sorry, I won't take that bet."
The guy says, "But I thought you said you were a gambling man."
"I am. But the steaks are too high."
When a donkey digs a tunnel, it is called a burro.
Wanna hear a joke?
Me.
What noise did Steven Hawking make when he died?
Windows shutting down.