Worst Jokes Ever
What is a vampireâs favorite fruit?
A nectarine.
Smack an orphan, whatâs he gonna do... tell his parents?
My mom told me that she got a new job & I don't have to leave the house.
Then my mom told all my customers are the men that live in our neighborhood.
Then I ask what is your job call. My mom said job hand, then I said job and or is hand job.
My mom said yeah that it. My mom said I'm good at my job that why all the males are always knocking at the door.
Sniff a liter of petrol. You'll go back to the dream time at.
Who were the fastest runners ever? Adam and Eve. They were first in the human race.
What is Michael Jackson's favorite game? Jacks.
Why? He loved to play with the little balls.
Wanna hear a dry joke? A desert.
What do you call blue and orange at the bottom of a pool?
A baby with flat armbands!
A common question I get as a doctor is, do vaccines cause autism? Well!, I was vaccinated, so.....
Why do most orphans become prostitutes?
âBecause they always wanted a daddy.â
What's the difference between tuna, a piano and glue?
You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna.
My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday. I asked her why. She said, "Because you're a pedophile." I replied, "Pedophile! That's a big word for an eight year old."
Your momma's so dumb, she tried to climb Mountain Dew.
What's better than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree?
One dead baby nailed to ten!
Yo mama's so fat, she works in the movie theater as a screen.
Do you know why the Royal family can no longer play Monopoly?
How do you think Princess Diana died?
...Too soon?
What does Germany and the rest of the world have in common? They both use gases to poison one thing or another.
So I ran into my specialist doctor, and he said, "Pick a star sign, any star sign." So I said, "Capricorn," and he said, "Nah, you got cancer."
One day a cow ate a fish.
What came out the other side?
A dead fish.
What did the Nazi order from Wendy's?
Two number NEINs.