Worst Jokes Ever
A baby seal walked into a club.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
He ran out of battery life.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Because North Korea's long-range missiles can't reach that far.
What did Ron put in his diary?
I "Her-mio-ne" after I banged her last night.
Your nan's bald.
Why did the skeleton not go to the ball? Because he had no body to go with.
Just a joke: When Stephen Hawking fell over and hurt his leg, his dad said, "It'll get better, just walk it off!"
What happens when Batman sees Catwoman?
The Dark Knight Rises.
What is black, white, and red all over? An interracial abortion.
Did you hear about the flood at the circus? Lots of people drowned, and there were two clowns that survived and two nuns still in the audience.
The two clowns ran over to the two nuns, and each one put a nun on his shoulder. Then they waded out of the big top, up to their waists in the rapid, turbulent water. As they were reaching dry land, one clown said to the other, "If you ask me, this is virgin on the ridiculous!"
What do you call a gay scientist? Stephen Hawqueen.
My sister's name was Philma. We were unfortunate enough to have the last name Coochie. Let's just say no more virgins were at that school.
Why did Sarah fall off a skyscraper?
Because she made her dad mad.
What did the cancer cell say to its neighbor?
"Mind if I join you?"
I say 1, 2, 3, all the kids bullied me, but now they're not so cool, cuz I shot up the school.
Jack and Jill went up the hill 'cause Jack took a Viagra.
Jill was drunk, fell to her knee, Jack had his chance, did Jill till 3.
22 ants were playing football in a saucer.
One ant said to another one, βWe'll have to play better tomorrow. We're playing in the cup!β
What do you get when you cross Donald Trump with Fregley?
Orange juice.
What does a 90 year old's pussy taste like?
Depends...
Why did the guitarist go to prison?
'Cause he fingered A minor.