Worst Jokes Ever
In what city do you always lose your mum? Mumbai.
Why was the orphan so successful?
When the options were either go big or go home, he only had one option :(
Your mum is so slow, it took her nine months to make a joke.
What does gum in my d*ck have in common?
Both get chewed on by little kids.
How many push-ups can Chuck Norris do?
All of them.
What’s the difference between how you watch porn and I watch porn?
The windows we watch through.
If you are what you eat,
why is Jeffrey Dahmer white?
What’s a fun game to play during a pride parade?
Capture the flag.
What's the difference between a gay man and a freezer?
A freezer doesn't scream when you put meat inside it.
What’s better than Stephen Hawking?
Stephen walking.
How is a priest like a wristwatch?
They both start at 12.
My great grandfather died in 9/11.
He was such a good pilot.
What’s the difference between chocolate and people?
You can’t buy people nowadays.
I’ve been munching away on these new Tic Tacs recently and honestly, they are really good.
It’s a little strange how they came in a bottle labeled “Ibuprofen” though, and really, I’m starting to feel a little sick. The bottle’s almost empty though, so it’s time to get some more!
What do you call a nun on a wheelchair?
Virgin Mobile.
While fucking, my sister said, "Brother, you are so naughty! You fucked our elder aunt every day in the absence of my uncle and cousins and made her pregnant!" Little did she know, I fucked our mother every day in the absence of her, my father, and my elder brother and made my mom pregnant as well!
What is a pedophile's favorite planet?
Uranus.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite type of music?
Rock and Roll.
What do you call a black abortion clinic?
Crime Stoppers.
What side of the sidewalk do crazy people walk on? The psych-o-path.