Worst Jokes Ever
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
"How do you breathe through that tiny thing?"
What’s the difference between cancer and my brother?
My brother didn’t beat cancer.
What do you call getting gonorrhea from a disabled person?
A slow clap.
I saw a black man riding a brand new bike, so I went home to check my garage. It’s all good because I still saw mine still chained to the floor begging for food.
How do you piss off a disabled person?
You put the cookie on the other shoulder.
What do you call a group of emo people?
"The Suicide Squad."
Why are gay guys so rude?
Because they’re fucking assholes.
What do you call two lesbians in a closet?
A liquor cabinet.
The Earth was flat until yo mama buried herself.
Bomb.
Why is the white guy in prison scarier than a black guy in prison?
Because the white guy actually did it.
What's a tower's favorite bagel? I don't know, but it ain't plain.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
9/11.
9/11 who?
[pause] You said you’d never forget.
A suicidal boy went up to a tree and said "hi".
The tree never responded; it left him hanging.
A Chinese drunk and a Jewish drunk are sitting together on a park bench.
After finishing his drink, the Jew takes his bottle and smashes it over the head of the Chinese drunk.
"What the hell was that for?" asks the Chinese man, rubbing his head.
"That was for Pearl Harbor!" replies the Jewish drunk.
"Pearl Harbor? That was the Japanese! I'm Chinese!" he exclaims in return.
"Eh, Chinese, Japanese, Korean... you're all the same to me," the Jewish man explains as he gets up to leave.
The next day, the two drunks are back on the same park bench. The Chinese drunk suddenly takes his bottle and smashes it over the head of the Jew.
"Why the hell did you do that?" the Jewish man stammers.
"That was for the Titanic!" explains the Chinese drunk.
"The Titanic? What are you talking about? No one attacked it, it sunk when it hit an iceberg!" the Jew replies.
"Eh, Iceberg, Goldberg, Greenberg... you're all the same to me," the Chinese drunk happily retorts.
What would Donald Trump be if he was Black?
Shot in the head.
What’s another term for a lesbian?
A vagetarian.
How are gay people like mice?
They both hate pussies.
I look at my girlfriend’s ass like a homeless man looks at a trash can.
Like it’s my next meal.
Not all roses are red; Not all violets are blue; If you're reading this, God loves you.